Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Schooling O'Reilly

Here is a copy of the e-mail I sent to Bill O. spanking him for his stupid comments last night.

Dear Bill,

Even though you are a little too liberal for me, I watch and enjoy your program every night. While you have made several remarkably dumb statements over the years,the one about agreeing with hate crime charges against the college student who put the koran in the toilet, takes the cake. If burning the American flag, on American soil and thereby spitting on the graves of tens of thousands of brave patriots isn't a hate crime, then putting the terrorists handbook where it belongs shouldn't be either.

He will probably be so impressed that he'll want me to be a regular contributor, if so, King, I'm going to need to borrow that really cool charging bull elephant tie of yours.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Shoot Me


Insanity rules.


Saturday, July 21, 2007

The mantra is slightly wrong

Gun's don't kill people.

Guns kill couches.

Texas Stadium is now complete

The Vicar catches a perfectly--and I mean perfectly--thrown touchdown pass from King Selfish.

Monday, July 16, 2007

A Visit to the Holy Land

Texas Stadium was open today for some type of charity drive. As a poor man I have only myself to give, so I did. Sorta. Basically, I just used the opportunity to fulfill a long time sports fantasy of walking the hallowed ground that was long ago purified by the blood of Roger. In the process I met a couple of nice young men, Alan and Garrett, who assisted me in capturing the highlight of my athletic career on video. TOUCHDOWN!

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Tihs is werid

Aoccdrnig to recesarh at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the fisrt and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.

The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn biran deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Frgigin amzanig huh?

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Well now

that I am semi settled in I thought I would post a little post. Now that the global warming concert is over and it is irrefutable that we humans are heating up the planet, and the demo-nazis want to prosecute anyone who disagrees then let me add this. The other day I read that scientists remeasured the earth nad (gasp) it is smaller than previously thought! Some might say we are just measuring better nowdays but I say we humans are causing the earth to shrink. I am going to organize a new concert to combat this problem. I realize that no matter what we do we can't reverse it but if the global alwarmists can do it the I can to. SO let us marshal our forces and unshrink the earth, we humans are soooo evil and bad, we need the government to save us! Oh please save us!!!!

Monday, July 9, 2007

Jack Nicholson is Hot

Not. Based on the strained expression in the first photo I'd say there's a good chance he's in the middle of load testing his Depends.

Wednesday, July 4, 2007