For those about to rock, here's Elvis

Interview with the Los Angeles Times, 1957...

Wally George: "When will you write more songs?"
Elvis: "That's all a hoax. I can't even read music."
George: "What about your guitar?"
Elvis: "Can't play it -- use it as a brace."
George: "What do you think of rock 'n' roll?"
Elvis: "It's the greatest ever, mainly because it's all I can do."

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Preparing to meet a group of Scandinavian Princesses, 1960...

"Is it another of those highness deals?"

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At his only meeting with the Beatles, 1965, as remembered by Paul McCartney...

"Look guys, if you're just going to stare at me, I'm going to bed."

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Commenting on his movie career, mid 60's...

"The only thing worse than watching a bad movie, is being in one."

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Again on his movie career, 1969...

"I get tired of playing a guy who gets into a fight, then starts singing to the guy he's just beat up."

New Orleans is Stinking

Since Katrina blew ashore and cleaned things up a bit New Orleans has become such a happening place to live that people from everywhere like such as are heading there in droves. Even the jet set power couple Brangelina have gone down and bought a quaint little mansion and moved in with their adopted tribe. I wish them the best, but considering the most recent murder statistics from the New Orleans PD I fear their desire to be at the cutting edge of cool could turn tragically hip.

So far this year the cesspool of the south has seen 137 murders, August being a particularly good month with 27 killings in its first 29 days. The long and short of it is that New Orleans is on pace for 215 murders this year, which would give the city a homicide rate of 80, per 100,000 people. For the record, that's about 30 points ahead of the other contending killing fields. Those of you who have been paying attention will remember that the all time U.S. American murder rate is 86 ( New Orleans 1994, duh) so we are a little off the record pace at the moment. No sweat, though, even if a new record isn't set the champion is sure to retain her title.

While we await the final tally, please keep a good thought for Brangelina and their chocolate children. Their's is a mean and dangerous city.

Personally, I would feel safer in the Iraq.

Not quite ready to let it go. Sue me

Click here, my bitches.

Pain, and lots of it

"If I'm trying to sleep, the ideas won't stop. If I'm trying to write, there appears a barren nothingness." ~Carrie Latet

I'm not going to lie. Often when I try to sleep the ideas politely stop. Hell, on most nights, even if burdened with all manner of thoughts and worries, I tend to slip effortlessly into the peaceful blackness of slumber. I guess you could say that I kick sleep's ass.

But there is an ass I don't kick, an ass that mocks me. It is...the barren nothingness. I know this terror like I know every square inch of my hairy, gelatinous body, and yet I am powerless to defeat it. No matter how exciting the tale to be told, when I take up the pen the barren nothingness comes along and makes me her bitch. Hurts. Bad.

For my part, all I hoped to gain over the course of my adventure in blogging was a little amusement and enough writing practice to feel confident that if I had something to say I could, uh...yes ma'am

Children is the are Future

Lauren Caitlin Upton, Miss South Carolina Teen USA...when asked why she thinks 1 fifth of Americans can't find the U.S. on a map...


"I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because...ah some...people out there in our nation don't have maps and...ah...I believe that eh-education such as in South Africa and the Iraq everywhere like such as and I believe that they should....our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S. or-or should help south Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future for our chil..."

Is it just me?

While campaigning in New Hampshire, Hillary warned that any terrorist attacks between now and the elections, would help the GOP. Is it just me, or does anybody else think that she is speaking directly to the bad guys? It's like she's saying, "Listen guys if you want me to get elected, and I know you do, then play along with the leftist contention that you either don't exist or are not a threat. Every time some of you heroic jihadist manage to defeat some evil, Zionist, women and children in hard fought combat it just makes the Conservatives and their nazi/mercenary military more determined to hunt you down and turn your heads into oily clouds of pink mist. So lay low friends, at least until I'm elected."

Note to self: Only shoot politically incorrect politicians, that way, eventually you will get out of jail, even if you wound a few bystanders. We can probably expect to see John Hinckley making millions on the lecture circuit before long.

Disgustedly Yours,

The Archduke

Wichita Mountains Wildlife Refuge

This outstanding photo was taken from atop Elk Mountain by the lovely Mrs. Selfish during a Selfish family outing in early spring of '06. Elk Mountain is in the southwestern area of the park and this photo looks east across French Lake. Click to enlarge and enjoy.

Park map for your pleasure.

About 20 miles northeast of Elk Mountain lies the Meers Fault, the only exposed fault east of the Rocky Mountains. See it here, then go here and click Observatory.

Just another reason why Oklahoma is a cool state.