Sunday, October 28, 2007

Your Gift to Me

It's almost that time of year again, when those who seek my love and approval will be turning their thoughts to what I desire for Christmas. Naturally, my ultimate wish is for peace on earth, good will towards men and all that stuff. But let's face it, a job like that is just a little too ambitious for anyone in my circle of influence. No offense. Anyway, my suggestion to all who wish to please me is to focus on performing one of those small but powerful good deeds that makes the angels sing. Like getting me this ultra cool $499 Surefire illumination tool. I thank you in advance. Oh, please include a few extra lithium batteries, they're a little out of my price range at the moment.

Order here

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Losers Weapon of Choice

I can't, for the life of me, understand the uninformed's love affair with Mr. Kalishnakov and his Craptastic Carbine. Everywhere I turn (including the History channel) someone is proclaiming this tin and plywood turd, "The Greatest Military Smallarm Ever". Yakshit. In fact the Ak-47 ranks 3rd from the bottom on any real list, ahead of the Moisin-Nagant (another Soviet communist contribution) and any and all of the WWII era Japanese rifles and carbines, which were SO bad that they can be lumped together.

"But Archduke", they whine, "The AK-47 is soooo reliable". That's true, but it sacrifices EVERYTHING else to achieve reliability. It is clunky, junky, unhandy, and hideously inaccurate. So if your main goal in combat is to turn your live ammo into spent cases then by all means copy the Communists and other low brow murderers and grab one. We can all be thankful that the modern armies of the Free World decided to place their emphasis on turning live ammo into dead enemies.

Anyone, and I mean ANYONE, who says that the AK-47 ranks above the M1 Garand, 98 Mauser, 1903 Springfield, FN-FAL, HK 91, or M16 is an idiot. Period.

There is much talk of how many people have been killed by the Ak-47. True, but a large number, if not the majority, of those people were UNARMED. You can kill someone with a sharp stick if HE doesn't have one. And it helps get your numbers up there if in addition to being unarmed the people you shoot are
women and children and/or starving.

I don't have the numbers to prove it but I would bet the farm, that percentage wise, more men in combat, have been shot to death, BY THE M16 ALONE, while holding an AK-47 than any other weapon. So, in conclusion, if you are ready to "shuffle off this mortal coil", just snatch up KOMMIE KAL's pride and joy, back off a couple of hundred yards and start shooting at man with a real rifle. You'll be laid up with your 72 virgins before you can say "Oh Hell, the ARCHDUKE was right again!"

THE UNITED STATES MARINE CORPS- Providing enemies of America the opportunity to die for their country since 1775.

Friday, October 26, 2007

10 Manly Guns

I came across this infotaining piece on Fark. It's one man's version of the ten manliest firearms. It should not be read by women. As for non-gun owning males--assuming this is your only feminine trait--you will enjoy the author's vigorous, witty style. He hates the French, liberals, and other pansies. (p.s. don't get distracted by the misspelling in the title, loser)

As it happens, at one time or another I have owned four of the weapons mentioned. This, as I'm sure you have surmised, makes me manly--to the fourth degree.

Gird your loins, more gun talk may follow.


"If you can't beat 'em, arrange to have them beaten." George Carlin

OU safety Hill hit it big with tackle of Dorsett

By John Rohde
The Oklahoman

It was 32 years ago when Tony Dorsett and Scott Hill collided on Owen Field.

On Tuesday, they were less than two miles apart.

Dorsett was in Oklahoma to promote Hall of Fame Mortgage ( alongside business partner Mel Renfro, a fellow NFL and Dallas Cowboys Hall of Famer.

Dorsett spoke at B.G. Bolton's Sports Grill in south Edmond.

Hill owns the Sports Performance Center on North Lincoln, directly to the west.

It was Hill who literally flew in from his safety position on Sept. 20, 1975, to flatten Dorsett with a ferocious hit that, to this day, has yet to lose its impact.

Since then, whenever someone asks Hill, "Guess who I just saw?” the answer almost always is Tony Dorsett. And Tuesday was no different.

"Scott Hill? You listening? I made you a lot of money. OK, man?” Dorsett said jokingly. "That was a good hit, though. I think Scotty surprised both of us when he went airborne. You know what? Oklahoma owes me a lot of money because of that hit. They need to grease my palms, man. They recruited a lot of players off that hit. Scott Hill has become a multi-millionaire off that hit.”

Hill laughed when told Dorsett's comment and said, "I know he's been good-natured about it, and I appreciate that.”

Hill said he and Dorsett have met only once since the hit, and that was during lunch with a mutual friend roughly 20 years ago.

Through an acquaintance, Hill recently sent Dorsett an autographed picture of the hit.

Hill said the inscription read: "Tony, Thank you for being an all-pro and an all-everything because you've given me a lifetime of recognition.”

Tuesday, October 23, 2007


Downtown Dallas was full of happy Muslims yesterday after a mistrial was declared in the Holy Land Foundation case. Chalk one up for the Religion of pieces.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

The Lost Colony of Roanoke

If you are ever asked to name the first child born to English parents in what is now the United States, answer Virginia Dare. She was born August 18, 1587 on Roanoke Island in present day North Carolina, about a month after her parents, Ananias and Eleanor, and her grandfather, John White, came ashore along with about 115 others as part of an expedition organized by Sir Walter Raleigh to create a permanent settlement in the New World.

Those with some knowledge of early colonial history (non-females) may have taken notice of the date. While it is rarely taught and little known, the Roanoke Island colony was established 20 years before Jamestown, and a whopping 33 years before Plymouth. Now, I could stop here, accept your heartfelt thanks for a job well done, and move on. But that would cheat you out of the most interesting part of this story.

Ten days after baby Virginia was born, John White was forced to sail back to England for supplies. Due to conflict between Britain and Spain, he was unable to return until three years later. He arrived back at Roanoke on August 18, 1590, Virginia's third birthday, to find that the entire colony had disappeared, vanished without a trace. The only clue was the word "Croatan"--a tribe of Injun friendlies who lived down the way--carved on a post of the fort. After a brief search White was forced to return to England and never saw his daughter and granddaughter again. The End.


There is an ongoing DNA project that is attempting to determine the fate of the Roanoke settlers. I'll keep you posted.

Plus also, I don't know why you would, but if you want to know more about this compelling story you can satisfy yourself here.


"By 2050 there will be almost 2.5 times as many people here as in 1960: 420 million. The share of the population of European descent will be a minority as it is today in California, Texas and New Mexico. And that minority will be aging, shrinking and dying. There will be as many Hispanics here, 102 million, as there are Mexicans today in Mexico..."
---------------------- Pat Buchanan, State of Emergency

Friday, October 19, 2007

Dog Drama

First of all, I admit that I kind of like Ellen Degeneres. She's cute, funny, and seems like a nice person. Unfortunately, like so many people, she is completely insane when it comes to animals. So I have decided to share a couple of tidbits of wisdom with her via this exalted forum. (I have it on good authority that she is a regular lurker on this blog).

TIP ONE: Do not make a purchase unless full right and title to the item transfers to YOU. In other words don't trade money for a dog that comes equipped with full responsibility but no authority. (I know, I know, she didn't BUY the dog, she ADOPTED the dog. Yeah, whatever).

TIP TWO: Avoid people who think that dogs and children don't go together. It's a wonder anyone stupid enough to believe that has managed to survive to adulthood. We've all heard people say that various things go together "like ham and eggs". Well ham and eggs go together like kids and dogs.

Now, for talking heads on the TV whose main concern seemed to be the veracity of Ms. Degeneres' anguish. Yes. Genuine tears, genuine snot, genuine misplaced emotion.
And for the few I heard say, "What's REALLY important here is what's best for the dog", I say bullshit. None of this is even close to important, but there nearest thing to important would be whatever is best for the two little girls. The yapping, crapping, 2lbs ball of hair in question doesn't give a rats ass about anything except food and attention. By the way, judging from the picture, Iggy isn't a real dog, Iggy is what real dogs eat.

Finally, to the cops who took part in the "rescue". What were you thinking? You should have tazed that stupid sow into a coma for even suggesting such a waste of taxpayer dollars.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

book review

The book in question is LONE SURVIVOR by Marcus Luttrell with Patrick Robinson.
(I would have underlined the title but I don't know how.)

This is a GREAT story told in a decent book. Having read many first person accounts of combat I am familiar with how hard, if not impossible, they are to write well. While this book is the best of its type that I have read, its very format, mainly the viewpoint, limits how good it can be. In my experience books written from this perspective ALWAYS contain a certain amount of cheese, corn, and self-promotion that can't be avoided but nevertheless detracts from the story. None of this is Navy SEAL Marcus Luttrell's fault. Professional writers, publishers and editors should have done a better job of protecting him from his own cheese and corn, and he never should have been put in the unenviable position of trying to describe his own heroism. I believe every word of this book, and I dont think Petty Officer Luttrell either downplayed or exaggerated his own actions or those of his teammates. But the flawed format sometimes makes it seem that way. This is a story that deserves a Stephen Ambrose type historian/writer and I hope it gets one.

Despite my fumbling, amateurish criticism, I highly recommend the book.

P.S. I own a copy and if any of you cheap bastards who shall remain nameless (kingselfish,vicarofvanity) want, you may borrow it IF you ask nicely.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Not Much

Michael Medved argues that America's founders intended a Christian society.


Seven months after receiving a kidney from Everson Walls, Ron Springs is in a coma. Ingrate.


President Bush attended an Ivy League University, so he must be an intelligent man...

"It's a time of sorrow and sadness when we lose a loss of life."

"And so during these holiday seasons, we thank our blessings."

"And my concern, David, is several."

"Whether they be Christian, Jew, or Muslim, or Hindu, people have heard the universal call to love a neighbor just like they'd like to be called themselves."

"We are making steadfast progress."

"People say, how can I help on this war against terror? How can I fight evil? You can do so by mentoring a child; by
going into a shut-in's house and say I love you."

Monday, October 15, 2007

Light Reading

Jonah Goldberg of the National Review says Reagan is dead and conservatives should move on.


If you have a heart--the four chambered blood pumping kind--this New York Times article may interest you. In summary, have a steak.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Houston, We Have a Problem

When our hero, Roger Staubach, retired after the 1979 season, he was the highest rated quarterback in NFL history. Rule changes and the advent of the West Coast offense has enabled other, lesser quarterbacks to surpass him. He now ranks 17th all time. Oh well, life goes on, records are made to be broken, blah, blah, blah.

The good news is Captain Comeback still holds the record for most wins by a quarterback in his first 100 starts. The bad news is Tom Brady is making his 100th start this Sunday. With a Patriots victory, which is next to certain, he will tie the Dodger's record of 76 wins in his first 100 starts. Brady is a fine young man and a great quarterback, but I'm sure we can all agree that he has no business being mentioned in the same breath as our hero. Pray for the Cowboys.


In other quarterback news, Tony Romo was slated to be cut from the Cowboys roster at the end of the 2003 training camp. Then this loser failed a drug test. God is good.


" I've said this before and I'll say it again. In my lifetime, there hasn't been a player as good as Lilly. And I don't expect to ever see another one. He's that once-in-a-lifetime player." Tom Landry

Friday, October 12, 2007

Liberals won't rest until they control your life

You can now be fined $100 in California for smoking while in a car with a minor. According to the bill's author, state Senator Jenny Oropeza, Democrat, no less, "Protecting the health of our children is among government's highest responsibilities. It is clear that increasing public awareness about the dangers of secondhand smoke is the right thing to do."


Maybe I'm missing something, but as far as I can tell the science on the dangers of secondhand smoke is only slightly more convincing than that behind the human caused global warming nonsense.

If it truly is among government's highest responsibilities to protect the health of children, we need to get on with banning those things which evidence actually shows are dangerous to infant babies and other assorted children, like dogs, cars, and swimming pools. And, of course, liberals.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Who do you love?

Here's a quick little test that will tell you who you really support for president. According to this I am rooting for Duncan Hunter. Mitt came in a close second. We're waiting for your results.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Bush and a Mexican sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g

Illegal Mexican Jose Medellin, convicted rapist and murderer, has found a new friend in President Bush. In order to avoid potential "harm to American interests abroad", Bush wants to stop Medellin's execution. The International Court of Justice is pleased.


Let's get sportsy

Dallas cornerback Terrence Newman is a fast mother. In high school he ran the 200 meters in 21.6 seconds. While at Kansas State he was a two time Big 12 hundred meter champion. The Dallas Cowboys media guide states that he runs a blazing 4.37 in the 40 yard dash. (Side note, America's Team does not lie.) He's so fast that I would have to workout for months to approach his kind of speed. But apparently none of this matters to Buffalo Bills wide receiver Josh Reed. After Newman intercepted a pass late in Monday's game, Reed ran him down with such ease that instead of immediately making the tackle, he ran with Newman for a second or two while trying to get in position to strip the ball. Curious. Nothing against Newman, he's far and away the best defensive back on the Cowboy's roster. In fact, I think I'm in love with him.

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Football Hero

Trust me, I take no pleasure in polluting this blog with another photo of the horse faced senator from Massachusetts. Neigh, on the contrary. Having recently been in the company of the Archduke, I am fully aware of just how much ugliness already dwells upon the earth, and I am loath to contribute to the teeming excess. But as the saying goes, that which doesn't kill us makes us stronger. So, it is with this sentiment in mind that I offer one more--and probably last--photo of the despicable also-ran, John Forbes Kerry.

Click on the photo and examine it for a few seconds then meet me back here for my astute observations.

( Filler music--Jeopardy theme )


First, in the interest of full disclosure, allow me to state that if this photo was of someone I didn't despise I would think nothing of it. Ok, I might think, "wow, that person I don't despise sure is ugly, scared, and extremely uncoordinated", but that would be about it. But since I do despise this punk ass bitch I'm going to take a moment or two for a swim in lake schadenfreude.

Here's the deal. You have this billionaire U.S. senator, who at the time of this photo was in contention to become the most powerful man in the world. So you know that whoever threw the ball--which Lurch dropped, apparently--was some sycophant who gently lobbed it in as if he was tossing it to a blind, one armed preschool girl. And yet this Vietnam War fraud has his head thrown back and his eyes clinched shut like he is taking a bullet from Brett Favre. Faggot.

The End

Extra Credit...

Queer QB 1

Queer QB 2

Hot soccer dude

Friday, October 5, 2007

Phony Soldiers

The news has been chock-full of phony soldier talk this week. Congressional Democrats, the mainstream media, and many other Liberals have been beside themselves with feigned outrage over an offhand comment made by Rush. Like almost every issue that the Left claims is a world shattering crisis, this one too is pure poppycock. So, read this now and thank me later, I have no intention of rehashing this silly story.

And forget about the phony soldier who appears in the photo. I just put that in because I think Klurch is hot.

No, the phony soldier I want to discuss is of much more recent vintage, and is quite a bit less Frankensteinian.

I'm going to step aside for just a second and allow the Seattle Times to introduce you--or reintroduce you--to one Jesse MacBeth...


Jesse MacBeth stoked opposition to the Iraq war in 2006 when he spoke out about atrocities he committed as a U.S. Army Ranger serving as part of Operation Iraqi Freedom.

MacBeth, 23, of Tacoma, claimed to have killed more than 200 people, many at close range, some as they prayed in a mosque. He spoke at an anti-war rally in Tacoma and appeared in a 20-minute anti-war video that circulated widely on the Internet.

Trouble is, none of MacBeth's claims was true. He made it through only six weeks of Army basic training, was never a Ranger and never set foot in Iraq.

...a skinny 23-year-old with close-cropped hair and a goatee...


Well, that's pretty much all you need to know about Jesse MacBeth, hero of the Left. Oh, except this one thing. Jesse MacBeth's original surname is Al-Zaid. Maybe the Seattle Times described Al-Zaid as skinny because they didn't know how to spell swarthy.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

This is scary weird

In case you didn't know or have forgotten how truly unstable the animal rights people are, read this shit.

I have always been fascinated with the idea of knowing what goes on in the minds of people I consider to be "way off". For instance Ted Bundy,a man who was thought to be normal by those who knew him, yet who in his spare time, kidnapped, tortured, raped, murdered, raped again, dismembered, and many times raped yet again, some 40 innocent, attractive young women who were total strangers to him. Bear in mind that it is not his repulsive deeds that interest me, it is the process by which he morphed from a cute little baby cooing and smiling at his momma into a hellish fiend who would revisit the rotting corpse of someones little girl three months after he had murdered her in order to sexually molest her yet again. Now, before you decide that I've gone crazy, I said all of that in order to say this.

While the people quoted on the website linked above, are not as vile as Mr. Bundy, they are, like him, so far out there that I can't even begin to guess at a possible route they took to get there. At times though, I have been teased with small insights.

During a conversation with my older sister, who is an animal rights activist, though somewhat less militant than those previously quoted, she stated with a straight face that not only do animals have rights but inanimate objects as well. I managed to maintain my composure and asked her if she meant things like a hammer, a fence post, or a chunk of asphalt. She explained slowly and carefully, as she is wont to do when speaking to an unenlightened cretin like me, that she mainly meant things like high quality hand crafted antique furniture and objects d'art and whatnot. It was at that point that I got a brief glimpse into her mind. She was confusing rights with value. Yes animals have value, a 500lb Angus steer fresh of the teat is worth about $700. Our old family dog Belle had a great deal of value, to us. When she was dying of cancer there is no telling how much I would have payed for a guarantee from God that she would live another 3 or 4 healthy years. But the fact that I am silly and sentimental enough to place a high value on my dog does not imbue said dog with rights. In fact the idea that HUMANS have rights is, to this very day, hotly contested in almost every country where white people are a minority. In closing, I just want to say that I am glad that there are people who are smarter than me trying to determine how these people get to be the way they are. Maybe someday they will figure it out and we can close off those particular mental pathways before any more of these poor souls get too far gone to bring back.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Bitz n Pieces

Caution: You could waste a lot of time at this website.


Excellent article on the un-wisdom of the Left.


I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up. Dean Martin.