Friday, December 26, 2008

Pretender-in-Chief

My plan was to wait until Obama was sworn in and started harming the country before giving him a hard time. But that was before He got the silent treatment from the Marines. I like. I suppose it's possible that they were stunned by His awesomeness.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Random Observations

While I am all for scaring older children ( there are few things more hilarious than convincing a couple of 13 year old boys that there really is a boogeyman) there is a lower age limit. What I am about to say, I say with full conviction and not even a hint of qualification. If you think that photographs of terrified babies sitting on Santa Claus' lap are funny then you are a weirdo. Period. Parents who do this deliberately should be held down and made to cry and beg for their lives while someone takes pictures that we can all laugh about later.

Early on many people said that B. Hussein was the second coming of Jimmy Carter, lately it appears like he might be the second coming of Slick Willy. "I did not have sex with that woman."- Bill Clinton. "I did not have contact with that governor." B. Hussein. For these people the truth is always the fifth or sixth choice, and while they may eventually tell it, a certain amount of time always elapses while they sift through their other options.

As I've said before and will say again the issue of unilateral personal disarmament is not dead. Some time in the next four years it will be back with a vengeance. Washington D.C. is now controlled by people whose policies are not the product of rational thought but of glandular secretions and they FEEL strongly that Americans should be disarmed.

Finally, President Bush is a cool guy, and pretty damn quick too! The video of him dodging well aimed footwear and still smirking at the rag head throwing it is priceless. I really enjoyed the very end of the video when a Secret Service guy FINALLY approaches the President and gets dismissed with the back of his hand as if to say "Relax, it's just a moron throwing shoes". Nicely done, Mr. President.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Not to start one of those Mega arguments but I couldn't help myself

BCS DECLARES GERMANY WINNER OF WORLD WAR II
US Ranked 4th

After determining the Big-12 championship game participants the BCS computers were put to work on other major contests and today the BCS declared Germany to be the winner of World War II.

"Germany put together an incredible number of victories beginning with the annexation of Austria and the Sudetenland and continuing on into conference play with defeats of Poland, France, Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Belgium and the Netherlands. Their only losses came against the US and Russia; however considering their entire body of work--including an incredibly tough Strength of Schedule--our computers deemed them worthy of the #1 ranking."

Questioned about the #4 ranking of the United States the BCS commissioner stated "The US only had two major victories-- Japan and Germany . The computer models, unlike humans, aren't influenced by head-to-head contests--they consider each contest to be only a single, equally-weighted event."

German Chancellor Adolph Hiter said "Yes, we lost to the US ; but we defeated #2 ranked France in only 6 weeks." Herr Hitler has been criticized for seeking dramatic victories to earn 'style points' to enhance Germany 's rankings. Hitler protested "Our contest with Poland was in doubt until the final day and the conditions in Norway were incredibly challenging and demanded the application of additional forces."

The French ranking has also come under scrutiny. The BCS commented " France had a single loss against Germany and following a preseason #1 ranking they only fell to #2."

Japan was ranked #3 with victories including Manchuria, Borneo and the Philippines.



P.S. I obviously copied and pasted this. I am not nearly smart enough to create it.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Broke down

If you read Pat Buchanan's article about the death of the U.S. auto industry, you will learn something.

Friday, November 28, 2008

An eye for an eye

The sick freaks finally got one right.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Prelude to a Thanksgiving

On March 16, 1621, 8 months before the first Thanksgiving, the pilgrims of Plymouth met their first Indian. His name was Samoset and all he really wanted was to get his drink on. Plymouth governor William Bradford wrote about the encounter in his book, Mourt's Relation: A Journal of the Pilgrims in Plymouth, first published in London in 1622. Lucky for us someone has modernized the spelling.


Friday, the 16th, a fair warm day towards; this morning we determined to conclude of the military orders, which we had begun to consider of before but were interrupted by the savages, as we mentioned formerly. And whilst we were busied hereabout, we were interrupted again, for there presented himself a savage, which caused an alarm. He very boldly came all alone and along the houses straight to the rendezvous, where we intercepted him, not suffering him to go in, as undoubtedly he would, out of his boldness. He saluted us in England, and bade us welcome, for he had learned some broken English among the Englishmen that came to fish at Monchiggon, and knew by name the most of the captains, commanders, and masters that usually came. He was a man free in speech, so far as he could express his mind, and of a seemly carriage. We questioned him of many things; he was the fist savage we could meet withal. He said he was not of these parts, but of Morattiggon, and one of the sagamores or lords thereof, and had been eight months in these parts, it lying hence a day's sail with a great wind, and five days by land. He discoursed of the whole country, and of every province, and of their sagamores, and their number of men, and strength. The wind being to rise a little, we cast a horseman's coat about him, for he was stark naked, only a leather about his waist, with a fringe about a span long, or little more; he had a bow and two arrows, the one headed, and the other unheaded. He was a tall straight man, the hair of his head black, long behind, only short before, none on his face at all; he asked some beer, but we gave him strong water and biscuit, and butter, and cheese, and pudding, and a piece of mallard, all which he liked well, and had been acquainted with such amongst the English. He told us the place where we now live is called Patuxet, and that about four years ago all the inhabitants died of an extraordinary plague, and there is neither man, woman, nor child remaining, as indeed we have found none, so as there is none to hinder our possession, or to lay claim unto it. All the afternoon we spent in communication with him; we would gladly have been rid of him at night, but he was not willing to go this night. Then we thought to carry him on shipboard, wherewith he was well content, and went into the shallop, but the wind was high and the water scant, that it could not return back. We lodged him that night at Stephen Hopkin's house, and watched him.

Monday, November 24, 2008

The Final Daughter Speaks

The Final Daughter has just turned 13 and now feels that her views on race in America should be heard. The following is them.



As The Hood Turns

Many blacks in America don't seem to appreciate the advantages they enjoy simply for being black. For instance, backs can call whites whatever they want "whitey", "cracker" etc. but whites have to call them "African American". For me the term "African American" should be used only for those who were born in Africa, and not for people who feel the title pertains to them because their ancestors from long ago were African, if that is the case then I insist upon being referred to as "European American". Everyone in America is forced to endure "Black History Month", which is a bit presumptuous on their account, seeing as how we have yet to establish an "Everybody History Month". My understanding is that Martin Luther King Jr. argued for equal rights for blacks not special rights for blacks. Another advantage is the United Negro College Fund, I myself am still waiting to hear from the United Caucasian College Fund. The special treatment doesn't end there, we have "Black Entertainment TV" but not White Entertainment TV. It was recently brought to my attenyion that there is a Miss Black America pageant, I find this beyond ridiculous because there is no Miss White America, Miss Hispanic America, nor a Miss Asian America. How much special treatment is enough? Apparantly decades of lowered expectations delivered on a silver platter isn't enough to stop the whining.

The Final Daughter

The shackles are broken


Not new news but just want to say in the famous words of The Who "I'm Free!" Or even our hero MLK jr. Whose unplagiarized quote was something like "free at last!" No more keeping America on wheels for me. I don't know how the industry will survive but I fled the coop. So does this mean that my biggus excusus has been taken away when it comes to my dearth in writing? I don't know, maybe. Apathus who caresus may rule but hey what else is new. Oh what's the point? I'm Baaaaack.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Speaking of Conspiracy Theories


According to this article if you doubt the existence of "Apocolyptic Man-Made Global Warming or Cooling or Raining a Lot or Not Raining Enough Etc." then you are in the same league with 911 truthers, those who think little green men crashed at Roswell, and believers in the Bush/Cheney hurricane machine(it's in Alaska, no really it is). If this leftist attempt at reality inversion is successful then we can expect a future where Patriotism is equated with belief in the tooth fairy. Oh, wait, that's already happened. Never mind.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Let the conspiracy theories begin

Wanna guess what the winning numbers were in the Pick 3 lottery in Obama's home state on Nov. 5th, the day after he won the election? Did I hear someone say...6-6-6? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Veterans Day Photo


If I were any less mannish this photo from the Stephen Ambrose book, Citizen Soldiers, could make me get all misty-eyed. The caption reads;

Normandy suffered terribly. Cerisy-la-Salle, July 25, 1944. The girl was the only person in the village. Sgt. David Weiss appears to be telling her that everything will be okay.

See what I mean? A little 4 or 5 year old girl all alone in a bad place, saved by the good guys. Lucky for her. By the time this photo was taken the Germans had murdered God only knows how many children her age. Tough luck being Jewish back in the day.

To put a more modern edge on it, if these two G.I.'s were instead a couple of the Muslim zealots we're fighting today, one of them would be wanting to chop her head off and the other would want to marry her.

I'll take my team.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Open letter to Barack Obama

Dear President-Elect Obama,

Congratulations on your great political achievement. In one fell swoop you became President of the United States and the first black person ever elected to the highest office of a majority white country. Well done. I guess that old saying really is true, only in America.

Your win proves what we conservatives have been saying for years, racism in America isn't near the hindrance to minority success that your party's race peddling demagogues would like us to believe. That's not to say some racism doesn't exist, of course it does. But America is the least racist country in the world and has achieved a level of national decency where about the only thing that limits us, any of us, is our own talent and determination. Now if you will use your considerable influence to explain that to Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton and their ilk, that would be awesome. In fact, it would be change I could believe in.

As you may have surmised, I voted against you. I did so for the same reason millions of other typical white people did, you're a liberal. I would have voted against you even if I had never heard of your terrorist friend, your America hating, racist preacher or any number of your unsavory associations. That you held these people close says something about you, I just don't know if it's that you are a radical leftist ideologue or simply a calculating pragmatist. I hope it's the latter. But either way you're a man of the left and the ideas of the left are harmful or fatal if swallowed.

I'm pretty sure you already know, but just in case I would like to remind you of some of the harmful things modern American liberalism has given us. The way I see it, those who voted for you support;

Punishing success through higher taxes in order to spread the wealth around.

The welfare state which has addicted millions to the drug of government.

The soft bigotry of low expectations through affirmative action and racial preferences.

Killing unborn babies.

Babying killers.

Equality of outcome over equality of opportunity.

Violating the 2nd amendment through restrictive gun control.

The religious belief that is the myth of man-made global warming.

Junk-science that conjured up make believe dangers about DDT resulting in it being banned in the use against malaria, which has caused over 30 million third world deaths--and counting.

Political correctness, for God's sake! When you hear of a little league baseball game where no score is kept for fear of someone's snowflake getting his feelings hurt, that's the left. When a 1st grader is expelled for drawing a picture of a knife, that's the left. When a 76 year old grandmother is the subject of a random airport search instead of the swarthy man standing in line behind her, that's the left.

Etc. etc.

One final thought before you get on with governing. Many of your fellow liberals suffer from a condition known as Bush Derangement Syndrome, an affliction of the left manifested by an irrational hatred of President Bush. It's quite unattractive. I can't speak for every conservative, but now that the race is over I intend to hit the reset button and base my judgment of you on your performance in office. When I think you're right I'll give you credit, when I don't I won't. We'll see how it goes.

Time to go. Good luck. May you live and be well because daughters need their fathers and because your Vice President is a buffoon.

Citizen King Selfish

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

A Quick Note To All You Future Victims Of Wealth Redistribution

As an American who makes less than $250,000 I mean $200,000 I mean $150,000 per year, there is a good chance that I'll be recieving some of your hard earned money, via the government, in the near future. I want you to know that I voted against this, as did both of my fellow bloggers. We voted against our own financial interests for the good of our country because we understand that without OUR country we have NO interests, financial or otherwise.

There is little doubt that most of the redistributed wealth will be spent paying the exceedingly high price of all the silly-assed global warming cures that loom just ahead. But if it's any consolation, Mr. and Mrs. Wealthy American, I will be setting aside a little bit of your hard earned money to donate to the campaigns of the CONSERVATIVE politicians of the future. The rest I'll probably spend on ammunition, because every time the left wing nutsacks take over I get nervous and nothing soothes my nerves like big piles of ammo.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

A small sample of those hoping for an Obama victory













2008 Presidential election

Every poll and pundit says Obama will win. I'll believe it when I see it.

I voted early. Against Obama. It felt good.

Win or lose, Obama's first post-election act will be to call on those rioting in His name to simmer down.

Approximately 60 million people will vote for Obama.

Friday, October 31, 2008

Civil War if Obama Loses

According to dried up old feminists like Erica Jong, if "The One" loses the election, civil war will break out and "blood will run in the streets". Let's see now, hippies, homies, and faggy actors VS real Americans. If it's true it would be the shortest war in history because the good guys have the hardware.

While some faggy actors own guns they usually hire regular people to carry them, so they are screwed. Note to hippies, BODY ODOR WON'T STOP BULLETS! While the homies do have "they nines" it's hard to be very effective when your only tactic is to run away holding your pants up with one hand and firing wildly behind you with a cheap pistol.

Even if Ms. Jong is right I predict that we decent Americans will be home from the "second civil war" in time for supper.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Liberalism Kills

The best thing about blogging is that if you wait long enough someone will come along and do your work for you. For a while now I've been thinking about doing a post on the harm caused by liberal policies. Not only has someone done the work for me, they came up with a cool name-Democide.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

It's Not About Race, Really It's Not


Up until "THE ONE" arrived on the scene, Colin Powell was a self proclaimed Republican, and it's not hard to see why. He was moved up through the ranks of the Army on his own merits AND the recommendations of many Conservative Republican superiors. He was made a National Security Advisor by the most Conservative Republican President since Theodore Roosevelt. He was appointed the first black Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff with the full blessing of another Conservative Republican President and finally appointed as the first black Secretary of State by yet another Conservative Republican President. In spite of the love, respect, and historic success he has recieved from the Republican party he now chooses to betray them by supporting socialist Barack Obama for President. But it's okay, because he says, "It's not about race." Right. Mr Powell's willingness to turn his back on the party that made him and the men who served with and under him is sickening. There is a lesson in all this for Conservatives but I doubt they'll learn it. This type of overnight 180 degree philosophical turn around is beyond my ability to comprehend. It must be a black thang.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Friends and Associates



Colonel George Day is a Medal of Honor recipient for his actions while a prisoner of war in Vietnam. He is also a friend and supporter of John McCain. William Ayers is a domestic terrorist and admitted bomber of several federal buildings. He is also a friend and supporter of Barack Obama. John McCain is not a hero, but Colonel Day is, and they are friends. Barack Obama is not a terrorist, but William Ayers is, and they are friends. There is no middle ground here folks, you either love the America that you grew up in or you don't. Colonel Day does, and he wants President McCain, William Ayers doesn't, and he wants President Obama. The choice is black and white. What is there to be undecided about?

Friday, October 10, 2008

The Left doesn't like you if you don't like communists

If you've ever wondered why few people seem concerned about Obama's communist connections, this man's take might interest you.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Food

I'm not saying that Wright's bacon is the best bacon ever, I'm just saying I can't think of any that's better. You can get yours at the Wal-Mart or at the Albertson's deli. And probably other places too. You need it.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Bailout Confusion

Loathe as I am to admit that there is a subject that I don't fully understand, this bailout thing has me somewhat confused. If, as some people say, the credit crisis is the result of the Clinton administration forcing banks to make bad loans just so more minorities and other non-bill payers can "own" a home, then the banks deserve to be bailed out. If, as others say, the credit crisis is caused by greedy bankers taking advantage of a government backed program, the banks should be allowed to fail and those in charge should be prosecuted. Either way, morons who purchased more house than they could afford should be out on their asses. Wal-Mart sells tents. Goverment intervention in private business is something to be avoided in all but the direst of circumstances and the following quote points to the reason why.

"The American people will never knowingly adopt Socialism. But under the name of "Liberalism" they will adopt every fragment of the Socialist program, until one day America will be a Socialist nation, without knowing how it happened." - Norman Thomas, six time presidential candidate for the Socialist Party of America.

Note: Brigid, over at Home on the Range has an excellent quote from Andrew Jackson concerning crooked bankers.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Honor, Courage, Commitment



There are a few things in life that live up to the hype that surrounds them: Guiness stout, Michelin tires, Surefire lights and the United States Marine Corps. On Father's Day of this year, a mere nine days after graduating high school, The Final Son left a family he was close to and a fiancee he adores to fly 1400 miles and undergo the most rigorous basic military training in the world. On September 12, after 91 days of carefully orchestrated physical and mental abuse, he came out the other end, leaner, tougher and better.



As I stood in the stands and watched the ceremony I remembered back to the previous September when I stood on similar bleachers and watched him play linebacker for his high school team. I'm pretty sure my face turned red when it dawned on me that back then I just THOUGHT I knew what proud was.



If you ever find yourself doubting America's ability to produce high quality, serious minded young men, just go watch 599 new Marines march out onto the parade deck at MCRD in San Diego, trust me it's a sight that will put you at ease. As long as America can continue to find dedicated young men and women to populate ALL the branches of our armed forces we will be fine. And as long as the United States Marine Corps can continue to attract young men the caliber of the one pictured above we can all rest easy in the knowledge that the Corps will remain Semper Fidelis.



Note: For those of you thinking/hoping that this is the end of me bragging about my chidren/grandchildren, no such luck. Periodically I will continue to regale you with examples of what a great job I have done as a father beause you deserve to know. And yes, whatever great things my offspring achieve, is all me, because I'm just that good. Don't hate me because I'm perfect.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Undecided Voters Are Idiots


If undecided voters really exist, they must be on the same intellectual level as this guy. Let me make it easy for them. Barack Obama is wrong on every issue. John McCain is wrong on half the issues. There you go, half right versus all wrong, pretty easy really.


What's that? It's not about the issues, it's about personality? Okay, Barack Obama is charming but vacuous. John McCain is sarcastic but deliberate. There you go, deliberate versus vacuous, still pretty easy. Remember folks, we're picking someone to run the country not host the academy awards.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Number 6


On September 17th, 2008 Sergeant W. of the U. S Army and his lovely wife, "The Middle Daughter", welcomed my sixth Grandchild into the world. Contrary to a previous post, he is a fine looking lad and in no way resembles "ManBearPig". Congratulations to them and all that, but mainly, congratulations to me.


The boy's name is Angus, yes I am aware that it is the coolest name EVER. Eighteen years ago I wanted to name my youngest son (who you will be reading more about in a few days) Angus, but the pissing and moaning and wailing and crying that issued forth from my extended family members caused me to weaken and I am still somewhat ashamed to this day. On 09-17-08 when the nurse officially put pen to paper I was vindicated. Victory is Mine Sayeth the Archduke.
Note: While it may appear that I, The Archduke and my family are perfect, such is not the case. Little Angus and his three oldest cousins are the product of mixed marraiges. My first three grandkids, Madison, Alex, and Emma, who belong to PFC M. of the U.S Army and his lovely wife, The Original Daughter, ( AKA Armywife) along with Angus, have mothers that are UNIVERSITY OF OKLAHOMA SOONER fans and fathers who are university of texas longhorn fans. Thank God my two middle grandchildren Aidyn and Penelope who belong to The Original Son, (AKA Vulcandeathgrip) and his lovely wife, shewhoasyethasnonickname, are the product of a marraige between two UNIVERSITY OF OKLAHOMA SOONER fans. Try not to hold this serious character flaw against the two soldiers, after all they did both travel to the" Land of Sand and Stink" and put their lives on the line to defend us from the murderous muslims, and when it comes to these children, the UNIVERSITY OF OKLAHOMA SOONER fans in the family will win in the end anyway.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Financial crisis through affirmative action

This sums it up about as good as anything I've read.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Sunday, September 7, 2008

17 year old Muslim girl granted annulment

How about this feisty Pakistani girl. (Not the one in the photo, but similar.) When she was 9 her parents married her off to a smelly 45 year Muslim pedophile. Convinced that there must be more to life than being raped on a daily basis, she began seeking a way out of her enslavement marriage. She found a sympathetic judge and was granted an annulment a few days ago. She was finally happy, then her parents murdered her.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Don't mess with Texans

Two armed shitheads invade home. Husband and wife take gun from one shithead, kill him, shoot the other. Joy.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

I choose to disagree



I was watching some leftie on some talk show talk about Obama being "pro choice." Well hell who isn't? I like to choose the food I eat, the TV shows I watch, the uh friends I associate with, the color of my undies, my radio stations etc. etc... Of course as everyone knows I am easily confused and it took me a while to actually understand he was talking about abortion? Now look I am no fanatical anti baby killing kind of guy. I think there is a time and a term to do it if it is done. I do think R VS W should be overturned and the states should CHOOSE but other than that I am a little apathetic. That being said, why is it called pro choice? Why not pro baby killing, or infant murder is grand, or who needs condoms we have vacuums! Or simply "PRO ABORTION" Why is abortion a bad word? Why do the people who fight so strongly for it omit the mention of the act in their slogan? If it is ok it is ok right? Does it make them feel better to not mention the actual possible murderous act? I mean if I drunkenly crash my car into a pregnant woman then I can be charged for killing 2 people? That has always confused me. Ok lefties, repeat after me - "we believe a woman has the right to an ABORTION at any time. That is our choice." That needs to be on the t shirts and signs. I choose to quit writing now.

The Vic

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Geraldo is a Girl


" There's someone in the water! There's someone in the water stranded! There's someone in the water stranded! Right there God dammit! Hey guys there's someone in the water STRANDED! Wait he's swimming! No he's got a lifeline."
Geraldo Rivera likes to refer to himself as a "Warrior Journalist", I prefer the term "Hysterical Ninny".

Liberal Choice

While reading the linked article in the post below, I began to wonder, again; Where is the liberal outrage? Why aren't the feminists and all the other leftist screaming for something to be done to stop the murder of women and children by fundamentalist muslims? There is no shortage of righteous indignation every time some white, male executive calls his female secretary "darlin", or every time some woman who makes $150,000 a year fails to get a promotion. So why the silence when countless women and girls, worldwide, are being tortured, mutilated and murdered by muslim men, in the name of "honor"? It appears, for all the world, that the only people moved to action on this front are Conservative Americans.

The only possible explanation I have been able to come up with is this. Since it was President George W. Bush, a Semi-Conservative White American Male, who gave the order to bring the iron fist of America down on the crazy muslims, the good leftist MUST conclude that the crazy muslim is in the right because the alternative is unthinkable. The America hating left was faced with this question. Whom do we despise more, an archaic religion that insist on the murder of it's own women and children AND everyone else on the planet who is not a member, or George W. Bush? Their answer is clear, and sickening.

Freedom is overrated











So, young ladies, you want to choose who you will marry? Go ahead, right after we bury you alive.

Monday, September 1, 2008

The Redemptive Power of Hurricane Gustav

Once upon a time President George W. Bush was bored so he prayed real hard that death and destruction would visit some African-Americans. The Lord heard his prayers and was pleased so He sent hurricane Katrina to kill many ebony persons. President Bush rejoiced.

But all was not well.

Blacks and other liberals cried that George Bush was a meanie. President Bush pondered this in his heart but could not understand why drowning a bunch of African-Americans was a bad thing. Even so, the President wished to seek favor with those who hated him. He prayed to God once again, this time that he may be given an opportunity to save Blacks from peril and be praised for his benevolence.

God felt pity for the President and said unto Himself, "I will send hurricane Gustav so that George may show the liberals that he is ready, willing and able to protect blacks from harm." And the blacks and other liberals loved George Bush.

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Great News!


My sources in Denver have confirmed that massive amounts of Botox have so deadened the brain of Nasty Pelosi (D-umb) that she has accepted Ted Kennedy's(D-runk) offer to drive her home after the convention. If this is true, then Teddy is being afforded one last opportunity to finally do something right.

Changing the subject: Is it just my conspiritorial mind, or was Hillary sending a coded message to her supporters when she quoted Harriet Tubman's advice to "keep going"?

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

And ye shall be saved

“Barack Obama will require you to work. He is going to demand that you shed your cynicism. That you put down your division. That you come out of your isolation. That you move out of your comfort zones. That you push yourselves to be better. And that you engage. Barack will never allow you to go back to your lives as usual.” Michelle Obama

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Billy Jack Lives


Remember this guy? For those of you under 40, this is Tom Laughlin playing Billy Jack in the movie he wrote and directed with his hippiechick wife Dolores, who played his love interest. The movie came out in 1971 when I was 10yrs old and to a 5th grader it was great, but by the time I reached the 6th grade even I could smell the stink of rancid cheese that permeated every scene. For those who have not seen it, here is a quick synopsis.

Billy Jack is a half Cherokee, ex-special forces, Hapkido trained badass, who lives on a reservation in Arizona,(Why a Cherokee would be living on a reservation in Arizona is beyond me but what do I know?) who always appears in the nick of time to save the members of the "Freedom School" from the evil businessmen and law enforcement officers of the local town. The "Freedom School" is populated by runaways and operated by a dried up female flower child with a face like a long neglected piece of leather. It's kind of like Steven Seagal as the Lone Ranger meets the Manson Family.

Anyway, the reason I brought this up is to say that not only is Billy Jack still alive, he is still saving hippies, pacifist and America haters from "The Man". His Presidential campaigns have mostly failed but have no fear, his blog has all the answers. He has a plan to stop all school shootings by installing tornado sirens that warn people so they can lock themselves in a closet. Why didn't I think of that? He exposes the evil Bush/Cheney " top secret" Pentagon plan to invade Iran. It's called "Operation Darius" but don't tell anyone I told you. He also lays out a peaceful exit strategy for Iraq that involves replacing American troops with Russian, Chinese, and French troops because those countries are the ones who REALLY own the Iraqi oil, and after all, the murderous muslims only hate American infidels.

His blog also promises to delve into spirituality, dreams, and " healing solutions", I can hardly wait. Don't let his rambling, repetitive, almost incoherent writing style fool you, Billy Jack is a hero for the ages. In order to start the healing, I think we should all stop what we're doing, take the hand of anyone near us, form a circle and sing "One Tin Soldier". Everybody now! Louder! That's it.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Granny get your gun

Memo to burglars: You may want to avoid this old woman's house.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Someboby help, the Polar Bears are freezing!

Al Gore forgot to tell you that there is 30% more Arctic ice than at this time last year. He's probably too busy making millions on some kind of scam, so I'll tell you. The purple and red in these satellite photos illustrate the expanding ice in question. On the left, one year ago, less ice. On the right, now, more ice. Global warming works in mysterious ways. If you wish to know the details, go here.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Melting pot my eye!

Has anybody seen the commercial for the preservation of Ellis island? (I think that's what it is for but Richard Belzer gives me terminal remote control finger) This is to help commemorate the melting pot that America was. Immigration has always been a huge part of our country's heritage and population. All of us but the pure blood native Americans can trace their blood line to people from across an ocean. This country assimilated people from all over the world (mainly Europe) to form a great country. What in the world is this rant about? It is about the new concept of immigration. Instead of a melting pot we now are a nation which is a density tube. A density tube is simply a container where liquids of different densities are poured and they naturally separate as the picture illustrates. That is what our immigrants are doing now. They leave their countries physically but then try to recreate their homeland here. Our society is becoming more fragmented. America does have a culture and I believe that any immigrant should try to become part of that culture. Am I saying forget the good of their former homeland? Of course not. I am saying become an American. I fear this problem will only get worse until our country is one giant density tube of peoples who reform the countries they were so eager to leave. But HEY I COULD BE WRONG!


The Vic

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

I have no skills

Gosh! I'm such a fat lard. Uncle Rico's van was up for sale and I didn't even know it. Idiot!

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Komrade Kalashnikov's Krappy Karbine




Nothing says "shoot me, I'm a bad guy" like an AK. For over 60 years now, whenever some bug eater decides to try and kill American servicemen, they almost always do so with a Kalashnikov in one of it's many forms. For the last six decades no firearm has lain next to more bullet riddled bodies of the enemies of America, than this tin and plywood turd. At least in that respect it's #1. If any smallarm was going to stand as a symbol of evil this would be the one.


Note to readers: Occasionally, and for no apparent reason, I am compelled by forces that I don't understand, to show my contempt for the AK 47 and all of it's offspring. It's usually only a passing compulsion. Even now, as I type, the voices in my head are starting to quiet down. There, I'm feeling much better now.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

That's going to leave a mark

If you're going to lose your head, try to be like this guy and at least be creative about it.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Hard Knocks


1/3 of us won't really be interested in the post but 1/3 of us rarely are. Watched a little of the HBO Hard Knocks and came to a conclusion that I concluded a long time ago. Jerry Jones thinks he is a coach. The owner does not belong in coaches meetings. He should have no say in who is playing and should sip martinis in the background. Yes the Cowboys may win this year, but mark my words, Al Davis junior will mke our beloved boys the Raider's junior. Buy players, hire coaches but quit trying to coach. Just my humble opinion.


The Vic

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Where is Blackjack Pershing When We need Him


I don't understand how any American can read this entire article and not be enraged, humiliated, and disgusted, all at the same time. As backward and corrupt as Mexico is, the "septic tank of North America" still manages to be violently arrogant. It is long past time to start teaching some old time Texas Ranger lessons on the border. When the trees down there are so thick with hanged Mexican drug dealers, soldiers, child molesters, and murderers that you can't swing a dead cat without hitting one, I'll bet our border problems go away.