Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Friday, December 21, 2007

Photo of the Day

As part of their gymnastics training these Chinese boys are supposed to hang from the bar for 5 minutes. I'm betting the one 3rd from the right made it.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

One little thing

that gets under my skin, and it is something I may have chatted about before, is the representation of criminals on tv. I am not the stat guy that my peers are, but I am gonna step way out on a limb and claim that even though the black population is still a minority in this country, they commit majority of the crime. This isn't a secret to anyone. It isn't even news. What bugs me are the way criminals are represented on TV. From commercials to drama shows, whites are shown to be the ones doing most of the crime. I hate beating the old PC horse, but this is silly. It would be like showing a representation of a football game where the team was made up of 80 -90% white guys so as not to hurt my feelings. The positive representation of blacks on TV started a about 40 years ago and I don't disagree with that, but 40 years of positive black representation or the attempt to show black children that they don't have to grow up to be criminals by NOT showing black criminals is NOT working, and if it is working that is even scarier. We have to quit running from the truth as a society to make people feel better. Denying a problem doesn't make it go away in fact, in my opinion, it makes it worse. Of course I have stated that before and yet things haven't changed. I wonder why?

The Vic

1991 CAGE MATCH (Dr. Singer vs Mr. Sagan)

In 1991, on "Nightline", Carl Sagan (noted Martian hunter and catastrophe predictor) debated Dr. Fred Singer (noted atmospheric physicist and man made global warming skeptic) on the enviromental impact of smoke from the Kuwait oil well fires. Mr. Sagan predicted that the smoke would travel to the upper atmosphere, interfere with the monsoon (whatever that means) and cause GLOBAL CATASTROPHE. Dr. Singer said that was ridiculous, that the smoke would go no higher than a few thousand feet and be washed out of the atmosphere by rain. The matter was pretty much dropped 3 DAYS after the debate when black oily rain began to fall on Iran. We can only assume that Dr. Singer then went back to his job INCREASING MANKIND'S KNOWLEDGE and Mr. Sagan went back to his, which was I believe, looking for little green men.

Did you know, that as they were fleeing Kuwait, Saddam's men deliberately pumped 11 million barrels of oil into the Persian Gulf? Or that they deliberately pumped 50 million barrels of oil onto the Kuwaiti countryside creating a lake of crude 1/2 mile long which contained 9 times the oil ACCIDENTALLY spilled by Exxon's Valdez? Of course we all know that they set 753 oilwells ablaze and that these fires were burning 6 million barrels of oil a day. We also know that some environmental "experts" at the U. N. called it the worst man made environmental catastrophe in history and predicted that it would take up to 10 years to put them out. But did you know that a handful of AMERICAN companies like Red Adair Co., Wild Well Control, and Cudd Pressure Control, ET AL, put all the fires out in 8 months? Oh well, it's all old news but I thought it was interesting.

To give or not to give

My eldest, Lady Selfish, has kindly accepted my invitation to submit a guest post here at Defending the Realm. The following is a piece which she recently published on her own site. It came untitled so I took the liberty.
King Selfish


I can't believe this question or Miss Manners' response.

Dear Miss Manners,
I am a 20 year old college student from Boston and I need your advice concerning giving money to those less fortunate. I honestly try to give as much as I can, however, being that I am a poor college student myself, how do I politely turn down someone who asks me for spare change when cash is low without sounding extremely rude or coming off as I'm better than the asker? The last thing I want to do is make their situation worse than it already is! Thank you for making the world a more polite place, one letter at a time.

Gentle Reader,
And Miss Manners thanks you for recognizing that all human beings should be treated with dignity. That is what you need to convey, whether or not you comply with the request. Just look at the person regretfully and say "Sorry," as you pass."

This is so retarded. A strange person is so PRESUMPTUOUS as to STEAL time and attention from someone who owes them nothing and then DEMAND money from them! This person has no dignity and should not be treated with dignity. I can't stand being approached by crackheads who ramble on and tell lies and complain that the world owes them something, and that I owe them something. This college students' sense of guilt makes me want to retch and the correct response to bums is to say "no" unemotionally and keep walking because even then they keep flapping their mouths and being hateful. No matter how much we give, there is ALWAYS someone else waiting with his hands out, accusing us of being selfish just for having something more! That something wasn't given! Are people not allowed to achieve financial autonomy without immediately being expected to pour it down the toilet? If some guy is pressuring a woman for sex (because he is "less fortunate" in getting it), should the woman offer a respectful "sorry," or should it be a firm, unapologetic "no"?
Our political world is full of pushovers.

Secular vs Religious

King Selfish found this article about the secular vs the religious quite interesting and thinks you may as well. Also, King Selfish has discovered that referring to himself in third person makes him feel...let's see...separate, different, in a word, superior. King Selfish says get used to it.


"Allowing an unimportant mistake to pass without comment is a wonderful social grace." Miss Manners

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Renaissance Man

It seems I can't escape being reminded of just how big a loser I am. While channel surfing the other night, I came across a tribute to a man who by the time of his death at the age of 51 had accomplished more than I could hope to if I lived to be a hundred. Here was a man who counted among his friends those in the literary, political, and entertainment worlds. Here was a man who was a five time Nobel Peace Prize nominee. Here was a man who was an author of eleven books. Here was a man who was an advocate of inner-city youth. Here was a man who those at his memorial were vowing to remember, to honor, to emulate. Here was a man who brutally murdered four innocent people in two separate robberies for a grand total of $280. Here was a man who according to those singing his praises was executed by the state of California for no other reason than it was time to sacrifice another black man to the "death dealers". Here was a man named Tookie Williams. I curse him and his memory. I curse those who fought to save his wretched life. I curse those who, with their promises to never let this puke's memory die, continue to spit on his victims and their families. I am King Selfish and I approve these curses.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Thursday, December 13, 2007

How do you doo

Wanna know who I don't get? Someone who takes their dog to a well used public space with the express purpose of encouraging it to loosen its bowels, that's who. Over the last fifteen years or so I have logged hundreds of miles on the track that you see in the photo above. In that time there is no telling how many seemingly nice, normal people I have seen walk their little poo-maker from somewhere in the neighborhood onto the track or football field so it could unleash a steaming pile of canine goodness right where folks are walking and kids are playing. What makes the whole thing so irritating is that there are a couple of acres just east of the track which the school has clearly designated for just such occasions. Click the photo to see for yourself.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Energy Incongruity

We are all aware of the importance of energy independence. Politicians of every stripe are constantly braying about America's need to wean herself off of foreign oil. To that end the government is willing to spend billions of taxpayer dollars to develop inefficient fuels like ethanol. Soon we'll all be burning staggeringly expensive ethanol in our unbelievably expensive, plastic shitbox cars. The bad news is that these vehicles will be structurally unsafe, the good news is that they will lack the necessary power to pull a sick whore off a pisspot. But I digress.

There are currently 1828 land based drilling rigs working in these United States, 872 of which are in Texas alone. Everybody knows that Texas is a large oil and gas rich state, but what you may not be aware of is that Alaska is over TWICE the size of Texas. That's right, if you cut Alaska in half then Texas would be the THIRD largest state. Keeping in mind that the density and distribution of Alaska's mineral resources are AT LEAST equivalent to Texas', we can extrapolate that Alaska has at least twice as much oil and gas as Texas. Based on this information we can assume that there are approximatly 1750 drilling rigs working in Alaska. Close, there are 10. Lets recap, 872 rigs drilling in Texas, 201 rigs drilling in Oklahoma, 117 rigs drilling in Colorado, 10 rigs drilling in Alaska. At the risk of showing my stupidity, I pose this question. Instead of wasting time and money on silly solutions like ethanol, wind farms, and $10 light bulbs, why not just go get the oil and gas that we already own? The answer to my question is so obvious and simple that it can't possibly be correct, but for an in depth explanation of just how wrong it is you'll probably need to ask the fine folks over at greenpeace or the sierra club.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

No guns allowed

I just read where the mall in which the Omaha Kid slaughtered 8 people was a gun free zone. Too bad he didn't see the signs.

They went and done it

US Senate Panel Approves Bill To Reduce Greenhouse Gas Emissions

06 December 2007

A U.S. Senate committee has passed landmark legislation aimed at combating global warming by limiting carbon dioxide emissions. The vote was timed to coincide with the U.N. conference on climate change taking place in Bali, Indonesia. VOA's Deborah Tate reports from Capitol Hill.

The bill would set caps on U.S. greenhouse gas emissions from electric utility, transportation and manufacturing industries beginning in 2012 with the goal of cutting emissions 60 percent by 2050. It would create an incentive system that would give credits to industries that cut pollution. Industries that failed to reduce emissions would be forced to buy credits from others.

The Democratic-led Senate Environment and Public Works Committee voted 11 to eight, largely along party lines, to send the measure to the full Senate for what supporters hope will be action early next year.

"We are facing a crisis that will hit our children and our grandchildren the hardest if we do not act now. Not to act would be wrong, cowardly, and irresponsible," said Senator Barbara Boxer, a California Democrat, chairwoman of the committee.

Senator Boxer, who is expected to travel to Bali as part of a U.S. congressional delegation next week, said committee approval of the bill sends a signal to the rest of the world that the United States is serious about reducing global warming.

But many Republicans oppose the legislation, saying it would increase energy costs and lead to job losses. They argue the measure does not ensure that other nations, particularly China and India, will cut emissions.

"China's emission will continue to accelerate as it builds coal plants and imports jobs from the United States. This will be enormously expensive to households within seven years as electricity prices skyrocket by 35 to 65 percent," said Senator James Inhofe of Oklahoma, the top Republican on the committee.

But co-sponsor Republican Senator John Warner of Virginia, who broke with many in his party to support the measure, offered a different view: "If we do not act, China and India will hide behind America's skirts of inaction and take no steps of their own. Therefore we simply have to lead," he said.

( King Selfish here. How idiotic is that quote from Warner? China is going to follow the U.S. into the world of reduced emissions? uh-huh )

The House of Representatives has yet to draft its own version of the legislation.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Open Letter to the True Believers

Dear Believer in Man-Made Global Warming,

We've never met, but I'd like to think that if we did we could develop a deep, mutual hatred.

Just kidding. Seriously though, I think you're an idiot.

For politicians, scientists, and the media to push the man-made global warming hysteria is understandable, they've got a vested interest. Politicians crave power and influence, scientists want the money that the politicians control, and the media is a bunch of whores who know fear-mongering is the easiest way to grab an audience. No doubt there are true believers among them but they don't interest me.

I'm interested only in you, the true believer, who with no aim toward personal gain adheres to the idea that the earth is warming, humans are causing it, and catastrophe awaits. I have to admit, you make me a little crazy.

For all I know the earth may be experiencing a warming trend. And I am confident that the human race, if it lasts long enough, will eventually be threatened by atmospheric and climatic changes. So? Things change, people adjust or die, always have. What I want to know is how you reconcile your belief that man is the cause of whatever climate changes may now be occurring with all the periods of warming and cooling the earth experienced long before man could have been a factor.

The illustration above shows the extent of glaciation in North America during the last ice age, which ended 10 or 15 thousand years ago. Check out the Laurentide ice sheet. According to the experts it reached a thickness of 2 miles at its center, and at its southern edge New York and Chicago sat under a mile of ice. Think about that for a second. As recently as 15 thousand years ago all of Canada and a significant portion of the U.S. were frozen under a solid sheet of ice. And now, except for a few scattered glaciers, it's all gone. What happened?

After studying the scientific literature I think I have the answer. The most recent ice age, like every one before it, ended due to the warming of the earth's climate, with no influence from human activity. Now that was easy, wasn't it? That's right, according to the science there are many factors that go into the warming and cooling of our planet, but they all add up to the Sun and the earth's relationship to it.

Not convinced? Maybe this brief paragraph from NASA will help -- No one is certain what caused the lower temperatures of the Ice Ages, and several different causes probably worked together. The 100,000 year long cycle is likely caused by variations in the Earth's orbit and tilt that change the amount of heat reaching Earth from the Sun. A small change can make the few degrees difference between a temperate climate and ice. Also, the Sun's total output of heat may vary a little.

To that I say, duh!

Listen, I have to go. All I'm saying is that it won't hurt you to open your mind a little and consider the possibility that the earth and it's climate are doing now what they've always done and that man is just along for the ride.

Yours, King Selfish

P.S. Here are a few links for further study.

No matter how you slice it the first major ice age was a mother.

Life in the Midwest 16,000 years ago.

What causes ice ages?

Sunday, December 2, 2007


I can hardly wait to see who the geniuses of the BCS pick to play in the National Championship. I know they will get it right because they always do, never mind the fact that 9 times this year their #1 and #2 picks have been beaten. Keeping in mind that the football Gods don't speak to me directly (like they do for BCS voters) and I don't have giant super computers secreted in underground vaults being fed esoteric mathmatical data that would confound even Einstien and Oppenhiemer, I still think that my team has a case.

By the time game 13 rolled around, the BCS in all its wisdom had chosen 1 loss Missouri as the #1 team in the land. To whom did they lose, you ask? Why that would be my Sooners. Interesting. Game 13 being the week of the Big 12 Championship, who is #1 Missouri's next victim, you ask? Why that would be my #9 Sooners. Even more interesting. Now you might think that the numerical ranking assigned, by the BCS, to each team would give some indication of who would would be expected to win. Not so.
As it turns out the #9 Sooners are favored over the #1 Tigers. How can that be, you ask? Beats the hell out of me. And should the Sooners prevail FOR THE SECOND TIME over the last week's #1 team, wouldn't that make the Sooners the #1 team you ask? The fact that you ask all these infantile questions shows that you lack the sophistication of thought needed to understand BCS logic.

As you know the Sooners not only prevailed, they SPANKED the #1 Missouri Tigers, but NOW, after the fact, that previous #1 ranking means almost nothing and the best my Sooners can hope for is #4 or #5.

In closing I would like to suggest that if we can't have a playoff system then let's at the very least compare the historical records of the odds makers (who choose the favored team) with the BCS rankers (who assign the arbitrary numerical rankings) and let the winner of that contest decide who plays in the National Championship.

Meet Eunice Carter

Author's note: This post is much longer than I intended. Good luck.

Sometimes Republicans can't keep up with all the evil that needs doing. With so many kittens to torture, children to starve, and homosexuals to euthanize, they are often forced to temporarily abandon their well intentioned schemes of misery. In fact, as ludicrous as it sounds, Republicans occasionally get spread so thin committing acts of unspeakable cruelty that truly important heinous deeds, like the proper abuse of black folks, must be postponed indefinitely. Over the years the frustration caused by this inability to mete out wickedness on all fronts at once has resulted in Republicans temporarily losing their immoral bearings.

The best known example of the Grand Old Party losing its way occurred during the War Between the States. Almost exactly 100 years before Al Gore's father voted against the Civil Rights Act of 1964, Republican President Abraham Lincoln was engaged in an heroic battle to hold the Union together so future Republicans would have access to more people to oppress and more land to rape, pillage, and pollute. It was during this distraction that Lincoln made the grievous error of freeing the slaves. Even men possessed of an obscene capacity for viciousness can only do so much. Unfortunately, once the slaves were freed, black people were able to insinuate themselves into American society in such a way that they were able to take advantage whenever Republicans faltered. That brings us to Eunice Carter.

Little Eunice was born in Atlanta, Georgia in 1899. When she grew big and strong she moved to New York City to attend university and law school, and after passing the bar exam in 1934 she went into private practice. This is where it starts getting ugly.

By the mid 1930's the Italian Mafia ruled much of New York City, including many of its leaders in politics and law enforcement. Organized prostitution rings, bootlegging, and numbers rackets (whatever that is) were the order of the day. The Mob was rolling and one man was pissed.

New York Mayor Fiorello LaGuardia, Republican, took office on New Year's Day 1934 and he hit the ground gunning for gangsters. Now, before you get to thinking that this was a case of a Republican being motivated to do good, you should know that LaGuardia was only 5 ft 2 inches tall. So, in addition to being a Republican, he also suffered the dreaded small man syndrome. His meanness knew no bounds, as long as he had something to stand on. I digress. Anyway, it was while distracted with showing the mafia just who was boss that LaGuardia let his guard :) down and appointed Eunice Carter to a position of some minor import. She then became assistant DA to special prosecutor Thomas Dewey, Republican. While serving under Dewey, Republican, Carter played a prominent role in bringing down the top mafia boss of the day, Lucky Luciano. Thomas Dewey, Republican, was so appreciative of her efforts in this case that after he was elected New York District Attorney he appointed Eunice to head the D.A.'s Special Sessions Bureau. Now that's one confused Republican.

I am officially tired of writing so let me try to sum up. Republicans are bigots, racists, and homophobes who desire nothing more than causing pain and suffering and, of course, stopping the Democrats from doing the Lord's work. However, there are just so many mean Republicans to go around so they are often forced to choose between evil doings. From time to time this inability to do it all allows many of those who would be natural targets of Republican villainy to slip through the cracks. Even worse, it is not uncommon for a Republican to get so focused on the depravity at hand that those they wish most to harm actually benefit from their actions.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

You can take the brother out of the hood...

I have spent less time thinking about the shooting death of Washington Redskins safety Sean Taylor than you have reading this sentence. However, this is what I would have written if I were a big, black sportswriter and I wanted to pen my thoughts on the matter.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Good Morning Amerika

Last week, over a period of three days, Good Morning America spent almost 19 minutes promoting the Robert Redford anti-Iraq War film, Lions for Lambs. Because I know stuff, I can tell you with certainty that 19 minutes in TV talk show time is a virtual eternity. Now don't get me wrong, it's their show and they can do whatever they want. Hell, I sleep through the son of a bitch anyway. All I'm saying is that every minute which the stars of the movie, Redford, Meryl Streep, and Scientology's favorite midget, Tom Cruise, were allowed to preach their silly "Bush lied, people died" message was one less minute that could have been devoted to the perils of global warming. Instead of pimping a movie that has been universally panned and will fail, GMA should be teaching people how to recycle their farts.


"[Mother] had a lot of good ideas. One of her ideas was that everybody should have to vote. You have to vote. And if you don't, you're fined. And after three times that you're fined, then you don't get to be a citizen anymore. You can still stay here, you just have to go line up at the INS. And get your green card renewed and stand in that line. And then the great 62 percent who are eligible to vote, but don't vote, would motivate themselves. I think it's a really good idea." Meryl Streep, Good Morning America, November 8, 2007

Yeah, I know, she's joking. Except, not. If you don't believe me you can go here and fast forward to the 3:18 mark. Only from the left.

Thursday, November 1, 2007


Of course none of us have missed the group that call themselves truthers. I won't go into what they believe since I know less than my colleagues about what the truthers are all about. But the other night I was thinking about their self imposed title and decided to discuss something I think I discussed before and that is DOGMA. To me it is a fascinating and probably necessary human thought process that causes people to believe things and when I say believe I don't mean consider that something might be true, I mean IT IS TRUE NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE SAYS! This means that no evidence to the contrary could ever dissuade them of their beliefs. To me the far left is funny about this. They disdain Christianity as a silly low intelligence emotional crutch that should be banished from the earth but never see themselves as apostles of their own dogmatic cocoon. Let me sidetrack a little. In my opinion a fact is a fact, our belief about that fact doesn't make a fact less of a fact or more of a truth. I am not saying there aren't gray areas because I think we could talk about that forever and never get to an answer but just because we put something in gray doesn't mean there isn't a truth about that thing it is just we may not have or be able to have enough information to show that truth to be a fact. My point simply put is that facts exist outside of our opinions. For example: the fact I don't believe in a god doesn't mean there isn't one. The fact of god existing would be true no matter what I think or WANT TO THINK! Ah ha the crux of the issue surfaced! What we want to be true is what we believe and we fight over it. James Watson a co discoverer of DNA said recently that blacks in general weren't as smart as lighter skinned races. Is he right? Could be. They either are or they aren't. He of course was attacked but he could be right evidence seems to support it but it is anecdotal so it isn't real evidence but still could be true, but we are supposed to be outraged but what if it is true? Should we run from the truth because we don't like it?

Obviously the left is a bastion of Dogma that tolerates no dissent or debate. From my readings online from both sides it seems apparent that Liberal arguments generally consist of attacks such as "you're just to stupid to understand" "you must be from the south" must be inbred rednecks" or they may intellectually argue this way. "The argument has been decided already so we can't debate it" or "well the source of that information is funded by big business or corporations so since the source is questionable then it cannot be true" It amazes me that so many intelligent people can wrap themselves in a cloak of feel good or self loathing dogma and can't see through the shroud to even search for the truth much less see it. There is no admitting of being wrong when you can never see the possibility that you might be wrong. From hating the president to global warming to affirmative action to abortion etc etc they show time and again that their agenda is based on a need to believe and not facts.

But what about the right? What about abortion? What about evolution? What about homosexuality? I do think that in general the right sits on the moral and intellectual high ground in most areas but then they can easily get into a glazed eyed mouth foaming dogmatic defense of beliefs too. I can write a long essay on the attack of the science of evolution by the religious right.
They attack it because they do not want it to be true, but if one chooses to not want to consider it then that is fine and I don't mind a debate on it since I believe that science will solve that problem in the long run because science is falsifiable, religion isn't and that is simply why creationism doesn't belong in science classes, but if schools want to have religious classes I don't care. I was thinking the other night how our cute little blog of 2 active writers and myself the wayward son, and in spite of what we say out loud, do consider our selves a cut above the average Joe when it comes to intelligence, philosophy, politics and almost any subject that could possibly come up on this blog or in private conversation. BUT are we above dogma? What if? homosexuality is innate? What if there is no god? What if descendants of Europeans aren't as smart as Africans? what if Europeans aren't as athletic as Africans? What if global warming is true? Could we handle the truth?

Just a rambling thought

the Vic

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Your Gift to Me

It's almost that time of year again, when those who seek my love and approval will be turning their thoughts to what I desire for Christmas. Naturally, my ultimate wish is for peace on earth, good will towards men and all that stuff. But let's face it, a job like that is just a little too ambitious for anyone in my circle of influence. No offense. Anyway, my suggestion to all who wish to please me is to focus on performing one of those small but powerful good deeds that makes the angels sing. Like getting me this ultra cool $499 Surefire illumination tool. I thank you in advance. Oh, please include a few extra lithium batteries, they're a little out of my price range at the moment.

Order here

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Losers Weapon of Choice

I can't, for the life of me, understand the uninformed's love affair with Mr. Kalishnakov and his Craptastic Carbine. Everywhere I turn (including the History channel) someone is proclaiming this tin and plywood turd, "The Greatest Military Smallarm Ever". Yakshit. In fact the Ak-47 ranks 3rd from the bottom on any real list, ahead of the Moisin-Nagant (another Soviet communist contribution) and any and all of the WWII era Japanese rifles and carbines, which were SO bad that they can be lumped together.

"But Archduke", they whine, "The AK-47 is soooo reliable". That's true, but it sacrifices EVERYTHING else to achieve reliability. It is clunky, junky, unhandy, and hideously inaccurate. So if your main goal in combat is to turn your live ammo into spent cases then by all means copy the Communists and other low brow murderers and grab one. We can all be thankful that the modern armies of the Free World decided to place their emphasis on turning live ammo into dead enemies.

Anyone, and I mean ANYONE, who says that the AK-47 ranks above the M1 Garand, 98 Mauser, 1903 Springfield, FN-FAL, HK 91, or M16 is an idiot. Period.

There is much talk of how many people have been killed by the Ak-47. True, but a large number, if not the majority, of those people were UNARMED. You can kill someone with a sharp stick if HE doesn't have one. And it helps get your numbers up there if in addition to being unarmed the people you shoot are
women and children and/or starving.

I don't have the numbers to prove it but I would bet the farm, that percentage wise, more men in combat, have been shot to death, BY THE M16 ALONE, while holding an AK-47 than any other weapon. So, in conclusion, if you are ready to "shuffle off this mortal coil", just snatch up KOMMIE KAL's pride and joy, back off a couple of hundred yards and start shooting at man with a real rifle. You'll be laid up with your 72 virgins before you can say "Oh Hell, the ARCHDUKE was right again!"

THE UNITED STATES MARINE CORPS- Providing enemies of America the opportunity to die for their country since 1775.

Friday, October 26, 2007

10 Manly Guns

I came across this infotaining piece on Fark. It's one man's version of the ten manliest firearms. It should not be read by women. As for non-gun owning males--assuming this is your only feminine trait--you will enjoy the author's vigorous, witty style. He hates the French, liberals, and other pansies. (p.s. don't get distracted by the misspelling in the title, loser)

As it happens, at one time or another I have owned four of the weapons mentioned. This, as I'm sure you have surmised, makes me manly--to the fourth degree.

Gird your loins, more gun talk may follow.


"If you can't beat 'em, arrange to have them beaten." George Carlin

OU safety Hill hit it big with tackle of Dorsett

By John Rohde
The Oklahoman

It was 32 years ago when Tony Dorsett and Scott Hill collided on Owen Field.

On Tuesday, they were less than two miles apart.

Dorsett was in Oklahoma to promote Hall of Fame Mortgage ( www.hofmortgage.com) alongside business partner Mel Renfro, a fellow NFL and Dallas Cowboys Hall of Famer.

Dorsett spoke at B.G. Bolton's Sports Grill in south Edmond.

Hill owns the Sports Performance Center on North Lincoln, directly to the west.

It was Hill who literally flew in from his safety position on Sept. 20, 1975, to flatten Dorsett with a ferocious hit that, to this day, has yet to lose its impact.

Since then, whenever someone asks Hill, "Guess who I just saw?” the answer almost always is Tony Dorsett. And Tuesday was no different.

"Scott Hill? You listening? I made you a lot of money. OK, man?” Dorsett said jokingly. "That was a good hit, though. I think Scotty surprised both of us when he went airborne. You know what? Oklahoma owes me a lot of money because of that hit. They need to grease my palms, man. They recruited a lot of players off that hit. Scott Hill has become a multi-millionaire off that hit.”

Hill laughed when told Dorsett's comment and said, "I know he's been good-natured about it, and I appreciate that.”

Hill said he and Dorsett have met only once since the hit, and that was during lunch with a mutual friend roughly 20 years ago.

Through an acquaintance, Hill recently sent Dorsett an autographed picture of the hit.

Hill said the inscription read: "Tony, Thank you for being an all-pro and an all-everything because you've given me a lifetime of recognition.”

Tuesday, October 23, 2007


Downtown Dallas was full of happy Muslims yesterday after a mistrial was declared in the Holy Land Foundation case. Chalk one up for the Religion of pieces.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

The Lost Colony of Roanoke

If you are ever asked to name the first child born to English parents in what is now the United States, answer Virginia Dare. She was born August 18, 1587 on Roanoke Island in present day North Carolina, about a month after her parents, Ananias and Eleanor, and her grandfather, John White, came ashore along with about 115 others as part of an expedition organized by Sir Walter Raleigh to create a permanent settlement in the New World.

Those with some knowledge of early colonial history (non-females) may have taken notice of the date. While it is rarely taught and little known, the Roanoke Island colony was established 20 years before Jamestown, and a whopping 33 years before Plymouth. Now, I could stop here, accept your heartfelt thanks for a job well done, and move on. But that would cheat you out of the most interesting part of this story.

Ten days after baby Virginia was born, John White was forced to sail back to England for supplies. Due to conflict between Britain and Spain, he was unable to return until three years later. He arrived back at Roanoke on August 18, 1590, Virginia's third birthday, to find that the entire colony had disappeared, vanished without a trace. The only clue was the word "Croatan"--a tribe of Injun friendlies who lived down the way--carved on a post of the fort. After a brief search White was forced to return to England and never saw his daughter and granddaughter again. The End.


There is an ongoing DNA project that is attempting to determine the fate of the Roanoke settlers. I'll keep you posted.

Plus also, I don't know why you would, but if you want to know more about this compelling story you can satisfy yourself here.


"By 2050 there will be almost 2.5 times as many people here as in 1960: 420 million. The share of the population of European descent will be a minority as it is today in California, Texas and New Mexico. And that minority will be aging, shrinking and dying. There will be as many Hispanics here, 102 million, as there are Mexicans today in Mexico..."
---------------------- Pat Buchanan, State of Emergency

Friday, October 19, 2007

Dog Drama

First of all, I admit that I kind of like Ellen Degeneres. She's cute, funny, and seems like a nice person. Unfortunately, like so many people, she is completely insane when it comes to animals. So I have decided to share a couple of tidbits of wisdom with her via this exalted forum. (I have it on good authority that she is a regular lurker on this blog).

TIP ONE: Do not make a purchase unless full right and title to the item transfers to YOU. In other words don't trade money for a dog that comes equipped with full responsibility but no authority. (I know, I know, she didn't BUY the dog, she ADOPTED the dog. Yeah, whatever).

TIP TWO: Avoid people who think that dogs and children don't go together. It's a wonder anyone stupid enough to believe that has managed to survive to adulthood. We've all heard people say that various things go together "like ham and eggs". Well ham and eggs go together like kids and dogs.

Now, for talking heads on the TV whose main concern seemed to be the veracity of Ms. Degeneres' anguish. Yes. Genuine tears, genuine snot, genuine misplaced emotion.
And for the few I heard say, "What's REALLY important here is what's best for the dog", I say bullshit. None of this is even close to important, but there nearest thing to important would be whatever is best for the two little girls. The yapping, crapping, 2lbs ball of hair in question doesn't give a rats ass about anything except food and attention. By the way, judging from the picture, Iggy isn't a real dog, Iggy is what real dogs eat.

Finally, to the cops who took part in the "rescue". What were you thinking? You should have tazed that stupid sow into a coma for even suggesting such a waste of taxpayer dollars.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

book review

The book in question is LONE SURVIVOR by Marcus Luttrell with Patrick Robinson.
(I would have underlined the title but I don't know how.)

This is a GREAT story told in a decent book. Having read many first person accounts of combat I am familiar with how hard, if not impossible, they are to write well. While this book is the best of its type that I have read, its very format, mainly the viewpoint, limits how good it can be. In my experience books written from this perspective ALWAYS contain a certain amount of cheese, corn, and self-promotion that can't be avoided but nevertheless detracts from the story. None of this is Navy SEAL Marcus Luttrell's fault. Professional writers, publishers and editors should have done a better job of protecting him from his own cheese and corn, and he never should have been put in the unenviable position of trying to describe his own heroism. I believe every word of this book, and I dont think Petty Officer Luttrell either downplayed or exaggerated his own actions or those of his teammates. But the flawed format sometimes makes it seem that way. This is a story that deserves a Stephen Ambrose type historian/writer and I hope it gets one.

Despite my fumbling, amateurish criticism, I highly recommend the book.

P.S. I own a copy and if any of you cheap bastards who shall remain nameless (kingselfish,vicarofvanity) want, you may borrow it IF you ask nicely.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Not Much

Michael Medved argues that America's founders intended a Christian society.


Seven months after receiving a kidney from Everson Walls, Ron Springs is in a coma. Ingrate.


President Bush attended an Ivy League University, so he must be an intelligent man...

"It's a time of sorrow and sadness when we lose a loss of life."

"And so during these holiday seasons, we thank our blessings."

"And my concern, David, is several."

"Whether they be Christian, Jew, or Muslim, or Hindu, people have heard the universal call to love a neighbor just like they'd like to be called themselves."

"We are making steadfast progress."

"People say, how can I help on this war against terror? How can I fight evil? You can do so by mentoring a child; by
going into a shut-in's house and say I love you."

Monday, October 15, 2007

Light Reading

Jonah Goldberg of the National Review says Reagan is dead and conservatives should move on.


If you have a heart--the four chambered blood pumping kind--this New York Times article may interest you. In summary, have a steak.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Houston, We Have a Problem

When our hero, Roger Staubach, retired after the 1979 season, he was the highest rated quarterback in NFL history. Rule changes and the advent of the West Coast offense has enabled other, lesser quarterbacks to surpass him. He now ranks 17th all time. Oh well, life goes on, records are made to be broken, blah, blah, blah.

The good news is Captain Comeback still holds the record for most wins by a quarterback in his first 100 starts. The bad news is Tom Brady is making his 100th start this Sunday. With a Patriots victory, which is next to certain, he will tie the Dodger's record of 76 wins in his first 100 starts. Brady is a fine young man and a great quarterback, but I'm sure we can all agree that he has no business being mentioned in the same breath as our hero. Pray for the Cowboys.


In other quarterback news, Tony Romo was slated to be cut from the Cowboys roster at the end of the 2003 training camp. Then this loser failed a drug test. God is good.


" I've said this before and I'll say it again. In my lifetime, there hasn't been a player as good as Lilly. And I don't expect to ever see another one. He's that once-in-a-lifetime player." Tom Landry

Friday, October 12, 2007

Liberals won't rest until they control your life

You can now be fined $100 in California for smoking while in a car with a minor. According to the bill's author, state Senator Jenny Oropeza, Democrat, no less, "Protecting the health of our children is among government's highest responsibilities. It is clear that increasing public awareness about the dangers of secondhand smoke is the right thing to do."


Maybe I'm missing something, but as far as I can tell the science on the dangers of secondhand smoke is only slightly more convincing than that behind the human caused global warming nonsense.

If it truly is among government's highest responsibilities to protect the health of children, we need to get on with banning those things which evidence actually shows are dangerous to infant babies and other assorted children, like dogs, cars, and swimming pools. And, of course, liberals.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Who do you love?

Here's a quick little test that will tell you who you really support for president. According to this I am rooting for Duncan Hunter. Mitt came in a close second. We're waiting for your results.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Bush and a Mexican sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g

Illegal Mexican Jose Medellin, convicted rapist and murderer, has found a new friend in President Bush. In order to avoid potential "harm to American interests abroad", Bush wants to stop Medellin's execution. The International Court of Justice is pleased.


Let's get sportsy

Dallas cornerback Terrence Newman is a fast mother. In high school he ran the 200 meters in 21.6 seconds. While at Kansas State he was a two time Big 12 hundred meter champion. The Dallas Cowboys media guide states that he runs a blazing 4.37 in the 40 yard dash. (Side note, America's Team does not lie.) He's so fast that I would have to workout for months to approach his kind of speed. But apparently none of this matters to Buffalo Bills wide receiver Josh Reed. After Newman intercepted a pass late in Monday's game, Reed ran him down with such ease that instead of immediately making the tackle, he ran with Newman for a second or two while trying to get in position to strip the ball. Curious. Nothing against Newman, he's far and away the best defensive back on the Cowboy's roster. In fact, I think I'm in love with him.

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Football Hero

Trust me, I take no pleasure in polluting this blog with another photo of the horse faced senator from Massachusetts. Neigh, on the contrary. Having recently been in the company of the Archduke, I am fully aware of just how much ugliness already dwells upon the earth, and I am loath to contribute to the teeming excess. But as the saying goes, that which doesn't kill us makes us stronger. So, it is with this sentiment in mind that I offer one more--and probably last--photo of the despicable also-ran, John Forbes Kerry.

Click on the photo and examine it for a few seconds then meet me back here for my astute observations.

( Filler music--Jeopardy theme )


First, in the interest of full disclosure, allow me to state that if this photo was of someone I didn't despise I would think nothing of it. Ok, I might think, "wow, that person I don't despise sure is ugly, scared, and extremely uncoordinated", but that would be about it. But since I do despise this punk ass bitch I'm going to take a moment or two for a swim in lake schadenfreude.

Here's the deal. You have this billionaire U.S. senator, who at the time of this photo was in contention to become the most powerful man in the world. So you know that whoever threw the ball--which Lurch dropped, apparently--was some sycophant who gently lobbed it in as if he was tossing it to a blind, one armed preschool girl. And yet this Vietnam War fraud has his head thrown back and his eyes clinched shut like he is taking a bullet from Brett Favre. Faggot.

The End

Extra Credit...

Queer QB 1

Queer QB 2

Hot soccer dude

Friday, October 5, 2007

Phony Soldiers

The news has been chock-full of phony soldier talk this week. Congressional Democrats, the mainstream media, and many other Liberals have been beside themselves with feigned outrage over an offhand comment made by Rush. Like almost every issue that the Left claims is a world shattering crisis, this one too is pure poppycock. So, read this now and thank me later, I have no intention of rehashing this silly story.

And forget about the phony soldier who appears in the photo. I just put that in because I think Klurch is hot.

No, the phony soldier I want to discuss is of much more recent vintage, and is quite a bit less Frankensteinian.

I'm going to step aside for just a second and allow the Seattle Times to introduce you--or reintroduce you--to one Jesse MacBeth...


Jesse MacBeth stoked opposition to the Iraq war in 2006 when he spoke out about atrocities he committed as a U.S. Army Ranger serving as part of Operation Iraqi Freedom.

MacBeth, 23, of Tacoma, claimed to have killed more than 200 people, many at close range, some as they prayed in a mosque. He spoke at an anti-war rally in Tacoma and appeared in a 20-minute anti-war video that circulated widely on the Internet.

Trouble is, none of MacBeth's claims was true. He made it through only six weeks of Army basic training, was never a Ranger and never set foot in Iraq.

...a skinny 23-year-old with close-cropped hair and a goatee...


Well, that's pretty much all you need to know about Jesse MacBeth, hero of the Left. Oh, except this one thing. Jesse MacBeth's original surname is Al-Zaid. Maybe the Seattle Times described Al-Zaid as skinny because they didn't know how to spell swarthy.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

This is scary weird

In case you didn't know or have forgotten how truly unstable the animal rights people are, read this shit.

I have always been fascinated with the idea of knowing what goes on in the minds of people I consider to be "way off". For instance Ted Bundy,a man who was thought to be normal by those who knew him, yet who in his spare time, kidnapped, tortured, raped, murdered, raped again, dismembered, and many times raped yet again, some 40 innocent, attractive young women who were total strangers to him. Bear in mind that it is not his repulsive deeds that interest me, it is the process by which he morphed from a cute little baby cooing and smiling at his momma into a hellish fiend who would revisit the rotting corpse of someones little girl three months after he had murdered her in order to sexually molest her yet again. Now, before you decide that I've gone crazy, I said all of that in order to say this.

While the people quoted on the website linked above, are not as vile as Mr. Bundy, they are, like him, so far out there that I can't even begin to guess at a possible route they took to get there. At times though, I have been teased with small insights.

During a conversation with my older sister, who is an animal rights activist, though somewhat less militant than those previously quoted, she stated with a straight face that not only do animals have rights but inanimate objects as well. I managed to maintain my composure and asked her if she meant things like a hammer, a fence post, or a chunk of asphalt. She explained slowly and carefully, as she is wont to do when speaking to an unenlightened cretin like me, that she mainly meant things like high quality hand crafted antique furniture and objects d'art and whatnot. It was at that point that I got a brief glimpse into her mind. She was confusing rights with value. Yes animals have value, a 500lb Angus steer fresh of the teat is worth about $700. Our old family dog Belle had a great deal of value, to us. When she was dying of cancer there is no telling how much I would have payed for a guarantee from God that she would live another 3 or 4 healthy years. But the fact that I am silly and sentimental enough to place a high value on my dog does not imbue said dog with rights. In fact the idea that HUMANS have rights is, to this very day, hotly contested in almost every country where white people are a minority. In closing, I just want to say that I am glad that there are people who are smarter than me trying to determine how these people get to be the way they are. Maybe someday they will figure it out and we can close off those particular mental pathways before any more of these poor souls get too far gone to bring back.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Bitz n Pieces

Caution: You could waste a lot of time at this website.


Excellent article on the un-wisdom of the Left.


I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up. Dean Martin.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Donovan Mcrybaby

Donovan McNabb's self piteous whining on HBO's Real Sports is an example of what is wrong with black America. Black quarterback's as is very obvious, are over hyped and pushed on the populace by almost every announcer that ever announced an NFL game. Most never have lived up to the greatness tag foisted upon them. Besides Warren Moon and maybe Doug Williams and arguably Randall Cunningham who used to be the most overhyped quarterback in the history of the game in my opinion, none that I can think of have lived up to the billing. So instead of being grateful for the love given by pandering announcers and writers he (they) see themselves as still having to overcome greater pressure than their counterparts. This is exactly what black America does. In spite of every attempt to make up for the white sin of the past, in spite of stacking the odds in their favor for jobs and school, in spite of ignoring most problems in the black community, black America feels like they are sooo mistreated and it is sooo unfair and nobody cares. Well it is obvious coddling the cry babies didn't do anything but creat a spoiled class of people who don't appreciate the white self policing that allows this country to have more opportuinity for blacks than ANY OTHER COUNTRY IN THE WORLD! A country that went from Racism to allowing McCrybaby to earn millions of dollars playing a game and airing his views for a national audience on a show hosted by another oppressed member of his race. Life sucks huh. Come on Black america, I have said it before, leave your collective adolescence behind and enter adulthood so you can enjoy the fruits of the labors that white America worked/works hard to give you.

The Vic

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Lay Down Sally

on some railroad tracks. Sally Field's Emmy acceptance speech taught me several things. First, it is acceptable to pause dramatically so that the audience can applaud and then screechingly demand silence like some deranged Queen of the World. I did not know that. Second, Sally has a son in Iraq for whom she is waiting......... waiting with an open heart. I did not know that. Third, when stressed, the Spirit of the Lord will descend upon Gidget and she will speak in Tongues. I did not know that. Finally, when your carefully crafted and much rehearsed left wing rant comes unravelled in front of a sympathetic audience, just puncuate your lack of a point by screaming something about "THE GODDAMNED WAR!" and eveything will be fine. I did not... Ok I did know that one.

On a lighter note, we can all rest easy because Cate Blanchett is having a special filtration system installed in her house that will allow her and her children to drink their own piss. Apparently, no sacrifice is too great for the Hollywood elite. If only someone would invent a machine that would turn human solid waste into a gelatinous, vegitarian, meat substitute. Topu, anyone?

Monday, September 10, 2007

Nasty Pelosi

I see where Speaker of the House Nasty Pelosi (D-umb bitch) said that General Petreaus' report was "simply unacceptable". I guess she didn't get the memo that said that her acceptance was neither desired or required, by anyone relevant. Evidently no one in Washington is capable of convincing this self-important old whore to focus her attentions on things she, A. understands B. has some control over. Not to be unChristian, but I sincerely hope that as I write this she is somewhere alone, choking on a chicken bone.

Thursday, September 6, 2007

A Taste of European Cowardice and Confusion

The headlines say it all. I have provided the appropriate links for those who believe that in each day a little rain must fall.

From the London Times...

Doctors should not eat in front of Muslims during Ramadan says Scottish NHS

And the Canadian Free Press...

Brussels mayor bans Stop the Islamicisation of Europe demo but welcomes anti-American United for Truth rally


Friday, August 31, 2007

For those about to rock, here's Elvis

Interview with the Los Angeles Times, 1957...

Wally George: "When will you write more songs?"
Elvis: "That's all a hoax. I can't even read music."
George: "What about your guitar?"
Elvis: "Can't play it -- use it as a brace."
George: "What do you think of rock 'n' roll?"
Elvis: "It's the greatest ever, mainly because it's all I can do."


Preparing to meet a group of Scandinavian Princesses, 1960...

"Is it another of those highness deals?"


At his only meeting with the Beatles, 1965, as remembered by Paul McCartney...

"Look guys, if you're just going to stare at me, I'm going to bed."


Commenting on his movie career, mid 60's...

"The only thing worse than watching a bad movie, is being in one."


Again on his movie career, 1969...

"I get tired of playing a guy who gets into a fight, then starts singing to the guy he's just beat up."

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

New Orleans is Stinking

Since Katrina blew ashore and cleaned things up a bit New Orleans has become such a happening place to live that people from everywhere like such as are heading there in droves. Even the jet set power couple Brangelina have gone down and bought a quaint little mansion and moved in with their adopted tribe. I wish them the best, but considering the most recent murder statistics from the New Orleans PD I fear their desire to be at the cutting edge of cool could turn tragically hip.

So far this year the cesspool of the south has seen 137 murders, August being a particularly good month with 27 killings in its first 29 days. The long and short of it is that New Orleans is on pace for 215 murders this year, which would give the city a homicide rate of 80, per 100,000 people. For the record, that's about 30 points ahead of the other contending killing fields. Those of you who have been paying attention will remember that the all time U.S. American murder rate is 86 ( New Orleans 1994, duh) so we are a little off the record pace at the moment. No sweat, though, even if a new record isn't set the champion is sure to retain her title.

While we await the final tally, please keep a good thought for Brangelina and their chocolate children. Their's is a mean and dangerous city.

Personally, I would feel safer in the Iraq.

Not quite ready to let it go. Sue me

Click here, my bitches.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Pain, and lots of it

"If I'm trying to sleep, the ideas won't stop. If I'm trying to write, there appears a barren nothingness." ~Carrie Latet

I'm not going to lie. Often when I try to sleep the ideas politely stop. Hell, on most nights, even if burdened with all manner of thoughts and worries, I tend to slip effortlessly into the peaceful blackness of slumber. I guess you could say that I kick sleep's ass.

But there is an ass I don't kick, an ass that mocks me. It is...the barren nothingness. I know this terror like I know every square inch of my hairy, gelatinous body, and yet I am powerless to defeat it. No matter how exciting the tale to be told, when I take up the pen the barren nothingness comes along and makes me her bitch. Hurts. Bad.

For my part, all I hoped to gain over the course of my adventure in blogging was a little amusement and enough writing practice to feel confident that if I had something to say I could, uh...yes ma'am

Children is the are Future

Lauren Caitlin Upton, Miss South Carolina Teen USA...when asked why she thinks 1 fifth of Americans can't find the U.S. on a map...

"I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because...ah some...people out there in our nation don't have maps and...ah...I believe that eh-education such as in South Africa and the Iraq everywhere like such as and I believe that they should....our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S. or-or should help south Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future for our chil..."

Friday, August 24, 2007

Is it just me?

While campaigning in New Hampshire, Hillary warned that any terrorist attacks between now and the elections, would help the GOP. Is it just me, or does anybody else think that she is speaking directly to the bad guys? It's like she's saying, "Listen guys if you want me to get elected, and I know you do, then play along with the leftist contention that you either don't exist or are not a threat. Every time some of you heroic jihadist manage to defeat some evil, Zionist, women and children in hard fought combat it just makes the Conservatives and their nazi/mercenary military more determined to hunt you down and turn your heads into oily clouds of pink mist. So lay low friends, at least until I'm elected."

Note to self: Only shoot politically incorrect politicians, that way, eventually you will get out of jail, even if you wound a few bystanders. We can probably expect to see John Hinckley making millions on the lecture circuit before long.

Disgustedly Yours,

The Archduke

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Wichita Mountains Wildlife Refuge

This outstanding photo was taken from atop Elk Mountain by the lovely Mrs. Selfish during a Selfish family outing in early spring of '06. Elk Mountain is in the southwestern area of the park and this photo looks east across French Lake. Click to enlarge and enjoy.

Park map for your pleasure.

About 20 miles northeast of Elk Mountain lies the Meers Fault, the only exposed fault east of the Rocky Mountains. See it here, then go here and click Observatory.

Just another reason why Oklahoma is a cool state.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Schooling O'Reilly

Here is a copy of the e-mail I sent to Bill O. spanking him for his stupid comments last night.

Dear Bill,

Even though you are a little too liberal for me, I watch and enjoy your program every night. While you have made several remarkably dumb statements over the years,the one about agreeing with hate crime charges against the college student who put the koran in the toilet, takes the cake. If burning the American flag, on American soil and thereby spitting on the graves of tens of thousands of brave patriots isn't a hate crime, then putting the terrorists handbook where it belongs shouldn't be either.

He will probably be so impressed that he'll want me to be a regular contributor, if so, King, I'm going to need to borrow that really cool charging bull elephant tie of yours.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Shoot Me


Insanity rules.


Saturday, July 21, 2007

The mantra is slightly wrong

Gun's don't kill people.

Guns kill couches.

Texas Stadium is now complete

The Vicar catches a perfectly--and I mean perfectly--thrown touchdown pass from King Selfish.

Monday, July 16, 2007

A Visit to the Holy Land

Texas Stadium was open today for some type of charity drive. As a poor man I have only myself to give, so I did. Sorta. Basically, I just used the opportunity to fulfill a long time sports fantasy of walking the hallowed ground that was long ago purified by the blood of Roger. In the process I met a couple of nice young men, Alan and Garrett, who assisted me in capturing the highlight of my athletic career on video. TOUCHDOWN!

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Tihs is werid

Aoccdrnig to recesarh at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the fisrt and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.

The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn biran deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Frgigin amzanig huh?

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Well now

that I am semi settled in I thought I would post a little post. Now that the global warming concert is over and it is irrefutable that we humans are heating up the planet, and the demo-nazis want to prosecute anyone who disagrees then let me add this. The other day I read that scientists remeasured the earth nad (gasp) it is smaller than previously thought! Some might say we are just measuring better nowdays but I say we humans are causing the earth to shrink. I am going to organize a new concert to combat this problem. I realize that no matter what we do we can't reverse it but if the global alwarmists can do it the I can to. SO let us marshal our forces and unshrink the earth, we humans are soooo evil and bad, we need the government to save us! Oh please save us!!!!

Monday, July 9, 2007

Jack Nicholson is Hot

Not. Based on the strained expression in the first photo I'd say there's a good chance he's in the middle of load testing his Depends.

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Saturday, June 30, 2007

12-20 Million and Counting

With the defeat of the amnesty bill this week, right thinking Americans are rejoicing. And they should, it was a victory for the ages. Okay, that's little much, but you get my point. It was a bad bill designed to reward bad behavior, and it is dead. At least for the next couple of years, when it will be brought back to life by President Hillary.

Just joking.

It's kind of funny though, conservatives are so ecstatic that this bill was killed that you would think the issue of illegal immigration had been solved. I wonder if people who have successfully thwarted a mugger feel this way. Is the relief and satisfaction of prevailing over a threat so great that it doesn't occur to you think about the fact that you are no better off than you were before the assault?

Monday, June 18, 2007

Bear Attack

I saw on the news where a black bear killed an 11 year old boy who was camping with his parents in Utah. All I can say is thank God there are no javelinas in that part of the world or the whole family might have been killed.

Saturday, June 16, 2007

I am a little embarrassed to post this after that last post BUT

Here is my intellectual, thought out open letter to Mr. Nifong. If it is too deep and way over any reader's head then let me know since I am always happy to explain.

Dear Mr. Nifong,

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Hee Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha and Ha.

Dear Mr. Bush

For your Illegal immigration policy I have to say Stupid, stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid etc etc/
It just struck me since we are in conspiracy mania here, the war may have been the way for Bush to distract us from the southern invasion? Hmmmmm.

The Super intelligent Vic

There is nothing to see here

Move on people ,keep moving, move along now.

North American Union

In a recent conversation, I was challenged to name someone,who isn't a crackpot, who genuinely believes that GWB is pushing a NAU agenda. Here are three. Jerome Corsi- author of the swiftboat book that helped keep horseface Kerry from getting elected. Phyllis Schlafly- "The First lady of Conservatism". Lou Dobbs- CNN anchor. While none of these people are infallible they are also not bomb shelter dwelling conspiracy theorists who think that the devil worshipping Freemasons offered up Jonbenet Ramsey as a human sacrifice. Corsi and Schlafly have written many articles on this subject and provide many official sources. If I weren't such a Luddite I would provide links but anyone really interested can look it up easily enough.

I am not positive that these people are correct, but they do make a reasonable case, that gets more reasonable everytime GWB addresses the illegal immigration subject. I maintain that the three people named are smarter and more informed than I am, and maybe even more than the debater who challenged me to name them. Stepping farther out on the blasphemy limb, they may even be smarter and more informed than Michael Medved, who by the way is the Kool-aid provider to my challenger on this issue. I know that sounds like crazy talk since Medved is infallible, what with him being a former left-wing activist, movie critic, recently turned conservative and all.

Back in the mid eighties when I was a brain washed conspiracy theorist, many true believers were saying that then Vice President GB Sr. was a proponent of "one world government", "open borders", "globalization" and the like. As wrong as they were about soooo many things they may have been right about this. Even a blind hog finds an acorn once in a while.

In closing let me say that in my opinion there aren't many people crazier than Fred Phelps. He's the pastor of that weird church in Kansas that disrupts the funerals of dead servicemen. I despise him and what he does, but if I were about to cross a street and he said "Hey, look out for that bus!", I would look up, not because I trust,admire or agree with him, but because I don't want to get mashed by a bus. Sometimes good information is where it is, not where you want it to be.

Yet Again Absolutely Correctly Yours,

The Archduke

I attempted to refrain from snide remarks altogether, but a few slipped out and for them I apologize. This whole "being nice" thing requires me to take baby steps. I ordinarily agree with most of what Medved says but on this issue I think he suffers from a type of hysteria, brought on by anything that can remotely be linked with a conspiracy theory.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Thought Provoking

George Will is one conservative who is not impressed with Fred Thompson.


Bush's suicide mission.

Monday, June 11, 2007

I know I'm a dork

But this little picture I found on the internets made me laugh so I thought I would share it.

Thought I would add a little levity to soften the blow of the catfight we have all been witness to.

The Vic

Saturday, June 9, 2007

Redefining Our Terms

If you have not read the Archduke's previous post, Defining Our Terms, please do so before continuing.

I have to say at the outset that the more I thought about my reply to the Archduke's mean spirited diatribe, the less inclined I was to reply at all. Not because I agree with much of what he says, (to the contrary, I believe he is being willfully wrong-headed on this issue) but because we have been down this road so many times before.

It is true that in the past I have called the Archduke a bully in the school yard sense of the word. But what he so conveniently omitted from his post is that it has been years since I retracted that particular accusation. After many long, tedious discussions on the subject, the Archduke has convinced me that he was not your run of the mill, pick-on-the-little-guy-because-I-can type of bully. These days, when I refer to the Archduke as this sort of bully, it's not because I mean it, but because of the joy it brings me when he so willingly takes the bait. Can you say hyper-sensitive? Could it be a guilty conscience?

The problem the Archduke has when it comes to this issue, I must conclude, is his limited understanding of the English language. The word "bully", like most words in the English language, can have many usages. The definition given by the Archduke--"a quarrelsome, overbearing person who badgers and intimidates SMALLER or WEAKER people"--is the most common, but by no means the only accurate use of the word.

According to Dictionary.com, "bully" can also be used to describe one who intimidates or domineers, or one who is loudly ARROGANT and overbearing. The point is, a bully isn't necessarily one who uses the threat of violence to intimidate smaller or weaker people. Nay, it is my contention that most bullying by adults is much more subtle than even the definition I have provided suggests.

I now have tired head, so it's time to wrap this up. In a nutshell, the Archduke employs bully tactics when it suits him by using the two most common methods available to his type, coercion and manipulation.

Friday, June 8, 2007

Defining our terms

It has come to my attention that there exists a type of man, who while capable of functioning reasonably well in polite society, either cannot or will not grasp the meaning of certain simple words. The most recent example of this phenomenon occurred the other night when a couple of guests at my home habitually misused the relatively simple word-BULLY. For the record Mr Webster and I (not to mention all the other LITERATE people on the planet) know that bully means-"a quarrelsome, overbearing person who badgers and intimidates SMALLER or WEAKER people." Obviously anyone with an IQ higher than his waist size knows this. Why then, you ask, would men of even modest faculties, like these two, continue to get it wrong?

Before I answer that, allow me a moment to set the scene. Over the course of several hours, these two stated some 641 times, that in high school I was a bully. Never mind the fact that neither one of them met me until I was 33 years old, never mind the fact that neither one of them has ever met anyone that I went to high scool with(except my wife, who has repeatedly stated that I was NOT a bully). They ignored my challenge to find one schoolmate who would refer to me as a bully and my assertion that if they did manage to locate one, I would bring twenty to contradict him. Their actions defy logic.

It appears that there can be only two possible explanations. Theory one is that they must have reverted back into their secret geek language that they invented in seventh grade when they had no friends save each other. In that language bully meant "cool,beloved, jock that we would really like to be." Theory two is that they were so warped by their own misshapen bodies and fearful minds that anyone who was mentally and physically superior to them was automatically deemed a bully. Either way it is sad, and we can only hope that some day Science will find a way to end their whimpering.

Forgivefully Yours, (further proof that I am not a bully)

The Archduke

Saturday, June 2, 2007


I don't think the blog is dying just yet. Our traffic has remained fairly steady since we started, it kind of comes in spurts. Speaking of Bush, did anyone else see him bowing down to the global warming silliness? Please don't tell me he has backbone, I am officially sickened. Oh and what about Sillary Clinton's speech admitting that she is a socialist, she wants to redistribute wealth and the poor are getting poorer ad nauseum ( probably the biggest lie of the left) Well at least she admitted it, what is sad isn't the rhetoric it is the belief in the rhetoric. Are people really this stupid and blind? If so there is little hope for the country or the world. The anomaly of greatness that the U.S. was is slowly slipping back into the shit hole of life that was the state of the world since the beginning and is still true in much of the world today.

It is sad
The Vic

Basic requirements for Manhood

List 1 consist of things that the well rounded man either knows how to do or is actively attempting to learn how to do.

1. Throw a proper punch..................
2. Throw a ball....................
3. Operate a tractor......................
4. Ride a horse......................
5. Ride a motorcycle....................
6. Shoot a full size handgun, shotgun, and rifle................
7. Properly clean the above mentioned firearms.............
8. Hide his initial reaction to almost anything.................
9. Successfully haggle over price without becoming angry or insulting...............
10. Get into a locked car without a key and without breaking anything...................
11. Demand an explanation/apology from a stranger without becoming angry or insulting.........
12. Keep his mouth shut...................

List 2 consist of things that the well rounded man knows.

1. Bullies must be faced and shut down immediately by whatever means necessary.........
2. An insult unpunished is the parent of another. (Ben Franklin, I think)..................
3. Women don't get it and never will...................
4.The time of sunset this evening (within 10 min.) and the time of sunrise in the morning (within 10 min.)...................
5. The dates of the first and last killing frost in his area............
6. The average annual rain fall in his area..............
7. What the two most poisonous snakes in his area look like...........
8. What the two most poisonous plants in his area look like....................
9. The difference between wild mushrooms that will kill you and those that won't............
10. When someone is full of shit..............
11. The difference between an uncomfortable situation and a dangerous one..............
12. That emotional outburst do nothing to lessen pain.............

List 3 consist of personal items that the well rounded man owns or is actively seeking.

1. A high quality, large caliber, single action, autoloading pistol.............
2. A functional, accurate, .22LR caliber rifle................
3. A high quality, razor sharp, legal to carry, folding knife...............
4. A high quality, compact binocular (German if possible)...................
5. At least one high quality flashlight that works every time (Surefire if possible)..........
6. A reliable watch....................
7. A Leatherman tool or any quality copy.........................
8. A good dog................
9. A high quality rod and reel.................
10. At least one biography of any of the great men...........
11. At least one book about any war..............
12. A leather wallet with pictures of his children..............

Feel free to ignore/attack/add to/subtract from my list at your liesure. The monkey-like tinkerings of the masses won't change the universal truths I have revealed here today.

You're Welcome, Again,


Sunday, May 27, 2007

From the desk of King Selfish

As far as I'm concerned, the fact that John McCain is a weird little creep is enough to disqualify him from the Presidency. If you need a slightly more mature reason, check out this piece by a guy who voted for him in the 2000 Republican primary.


Christopher Hitchens couldn't despise Jimmy Carter any more than I do, he just expresses himself a little better.


Let are kids walk? Perfect.


"If you spend word for word with me, I shall make your wit bankrupt". Shakespeare

Memory Lame

Vicar, the photo you posted brings back fond memories, although, to be honest I didn't recognize you at all. Bad lighting, no doubt. Most likely those who knew you then will best remember you as you appear at left. I think this photo was taken during a lunch break sometime in our freshman year of high school. All these years later I can still remember being amazed at how you would wait, ever so patiently, for someone to stop and feed you.

The good old days.

Well now that we got to see the younger and gayer version of the archduke, I thought everyone might be interested in seeing a pic I dug up of myself and the king. I forgot how much I resembled Harrison Ford when I was in Junior High and Mr. Selfish himself reminds me of someone but I just can't put my finger on it. It is amazing how little our looks have changed in 30 years. Memories sweet memories.......

The Vic

Friday, May 25, 2007


The Skeptics' Tank is now six months old. And they said it wouldn't last, pshaw! "They" should thank their lucky stars the magic trio is committed to blogging excellence, because the insights posited here over the last half year are sufficient to solve virtually every woe of mankind. So if this is your first time, slow down, look around, and come hate with us. You're welcome, World.

"I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly." Steven Wright