Saturday, August 30, 2008

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Great News!

My sources in Denver have confirmed that massive amounts of Botox have so deadened the brain of Nasty Pelosi (D-umb) that she has accepted Ted Kennedy's(D-runk) offer to drive her home after the convention. If this is true, then Teddy is being afforded one last opportunity to finally do something right.

Changing the subject: Is it just my conspiritorial mind, or was Hillary sending a coded message to her supporters when she quoted Harriet Tubman's advice to "keep going"?

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

And ye shall be saved

“Barack Obama will require you to work. He is going to demand that you shed your cynicism. That you put down your division. That you come out of your isolation. That you move out of your comfort zones. That you push yourselves to be better. And that you engage. Barack will never allow you to go back to your lives as usual.” Michelle Obama

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Billy Jack Lives

Remember this guy? For those of you under 40, this is Tom Laughlin playing Billy Jack in the movie he wrote and directed with his hippiechick wife Dolores, who played his love interest. The movie came out in 1971 when I was 10yrs old and to a 5th grader it was great, but by the time I reached the 6th grade even I could smell the stink of rancid cheese that permeated every scene. For those who have not seen it, here is a quick synopsis.

Billy Jack is a half Cherokee, ex-special forces, Hapkido trained badass, who lives on a reservation in Arizona,(Why a Cherokee would be living on a reservation in Arizona is beyond me but what do I know?) who always appears in the nick of time to save the members of the "Freedom School" from the evil businessmen and law enforcement officers of the local town. The "Freedom School" is populated by runaways and operated by a dried up female flower child with a face like a long neglected piece of leather. It's kind of like Steven Seagal as the Lone Ranger meets the Manson Family.

Anyway, the reason I brought this up is to say that not only is Billy Jack still alive, he is still saving hippies, pacifist and America haters from "The Man". His Presidential campaigns have mostly failed but have no fear, his blog has all the answers. He has a plan to stop all school shootings by installing tornado sirens that warn people so they can lock themselves in a closet. Why didn't I think of that? He exposes the evil Bush/Cheney " top secret" Pentagon plan to invade Iran. It's called "Operation Darius" but don't tell anyone I told you. He also lays out a peaceful exit strategy for Iraq that involves replacing American troops with Russian, Chinese, and French troops because those countries are the ones who REALLY own the Iraqi oil, and after all, the murderous muslims only hate American infidels.

His blog also promises to delve into spirituality, dreams, and " healing solutions", I can hardly wait. Don't let his rambling, repetitive, almost incoherent writing style fool you, Billy Jack is a hero for the ages. In order to start the healing, I think we should all stop what we're doing, take the hand of anyone near us, form a circle and sing "One Tin Soldier". Everybody now! Louder! That's it.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Granny get your gun

Memo to burglars: You may want to avoid this old woman's house.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Someboby help, the Polar Bears are freezing!

Al Gore forgot to tell you that there is 30% more Arctic ice than at this time last year. He's probably too busy making millions on some kind of scam, so I'll tell you. The purple and red in these satellite photos illustrate the expanding ice in question. On the left, one year ago, less ice. On the right, now, more ice. Global warming works in mysterious ways. If you wish to know the details, go here.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Melting pot my eye!

Has anybody seen the commercial for the preservation of Ellis island? (I think that's what it is for but Richard Belzer gives me terminal remote control finger) This is to help commemorate the melting pot that America was. Immigration has always been a huge part of our country's heritage and population. All of us but the pure blood native Americans can trace their blood line to people from across an ocean. This country assimilated people from all over the world (mainly Europe) to form a great country. What in the world is this rant about? It is about the new concept of immigration. Instead of a melting pot we now are a nation which is a density tube. A density tube is simply a container where liquids of different densities are poured and they naturally separate as the picture illustrates. That is what our immigrants are doing now. They leave their countries physically but then try to recreate their homeland here. Our society is becoming more fragmented. America does have a culture and I believe that any immigrant should try to become part of that culture. Am I saying forget the good of their former homeland? Of course not. I am saying become an American. I fear this problem will only get worse until our country is one giant density tube of peoples who reform the countries they were so eager to leave. But HEY I COULD BE WRONG!

The Vic

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

I have no skills

Gosh! I'm such a fat lard. Uncle Rico's van was up for sale and I didn't even know it. Idiot!

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Komrade Kalashnikov's Krappy Karbine

Nothing says "shoot me, I'm a bad guy" like an AK. For over 60 years now, whenever some bug eater decides to try and kill American servicemen, they almost always do so with a Kalashnikov in one of it's many forms. For the last six decades no firearm has lain next to more bullet riddled bodies of the enemies of America, than this tin and plywood turd. At least in that respect it's #1. If any smallarm was going to stand as a symbol of evil this would be the one.

Note to readers: Occasionally, and for no apparent reason, I am compelled by forces that I don't understand, to show my contempt for the AK 47 and all of it's offspring. It's usually only a passing compulsion. Even now, as I type, the voices in my head are starting to quiet down. There, I'm feeling much better now.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

That's going to leave a mark

If you're going to lose your head, try to be like this guy and at least be creative about it.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Hard Knocks

1/3 of us won't really be interested in the post but 1/3 of us rarely are. Watched a little of the HBO Hard Knocks and came to a conclusion that I concluded a long time ago. Jerry Jones thinks he is a coach. The owner does not belong in coaches meetings. He should have no say in who is playing and should sip martinis in the background. Yes the Cowboys may win this year, but mark my words, Al Davis junior will mke our beloved boys the Raider's junior. Buy players, hire coaches but quit trying to coach. Just my humble opinion.

The Vic

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Where is Blackjack Pershing When We need Him

I don't understand how any American can read this entire article and not be enraged, humiliated, and disgusted, all at the same time. As backward and corrupt as Mexico is, the "septic tank of North America" still manages to be violently arrogant. It is long past time to start teaching some old time Texas Ranger lessons on the border. When the trees down there are so thick with hanged Mexican drug dealers, soldiers, child molesters, and murderers that you can't swing a dead cat without hitting one, I'll bet our border problems go away.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Taylor KO Factor

John "Pondoro" Taylor was an adventurer and big game hunter in Africa during the early part of the 20th century. I don't know a great deal about him except that he wrote several books, was considered by some to be a bit of an exaggerator, and that he came up with his own formula for comparing the effectiveness of cartridges. While I don't put a great deal of stock in mathematical
formulas, they are fun to play with if you don't have any thing else to do. I personally like this one because it takes bullet diameter into consideration, as well as weight and velocity. It was designed for large caliber rifles but it works for handgun cartridges too. Like most of this stuff if it favors the cartridges that you already like, you will think it's a good formula and if it doesn't you'll think it's BS. At least that's how I do it. Here it is for a .45 ACP load, .4515(diameter in inches) X 230(weight in grains) X 850(velocity in feet per second) = 88268.25 divided by 7000= 12.60975, the higher the final number is, the more effective the load. Or so John "Pondoro" Taylor would have us believe.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

In Praise of Precise Speech

I've always been a little fascinated by language. It's interesting, to me, that groups of people got together and agreed on what to call things, everything from a solid object to a transient feeling has a name. To my thinking, the mutually agreed on definitions of words is one of the cornerstones of civilization and therefore relatively important. Because of my interest in this subject, I am bothered by sloppy word usage, when I recognize it. When I recognize it, is the key phrase here. Not being the sharpest tool in the shed, or an English teacher, I am confident that I miss almost as much sloppy word usage as I commit. In spite of these shortcomings, I slog on, determined to better myself in this area.
Therein lies the subject of this post. Bettering ones self in this area is not a team activity. No matter how long you have known, been married to, been friends with, or been the father of someone, when you explain to them that decimate means to reduce by EXACTLY one tenth and what they meant was devastate, they're apt to take offense. No matter how well meaning your intentions or how noble your cause, to the people who don't care about such things, you are just an ass.
As a self acknowledged redneck and rube, there aren't all that many examples of this that drive me crazy, but there are a few. Obviously the decimate/devastate thing and also the usage of the word sociopath when psychopath is what is meant. I have a friend who will correct you every time you say theory when you should have said hypothesis, since he is right, I will accept his correction with gratitude until I learn. There are several more, but this is starting to bore even me.
The people who place little or no importance on precise speech will say "What's the big deal, as long as you know what I mean?" Maybe they are right maybe it's not a big deal. Except that people like Mario Coumo will try to redefine body armor as a firearm so that it will fall under the same restrictive laws that guns do. And don't forget the fine folks out in D.C. who decide it's ok to call Mr. Heller's pistol a "machinegun". Pistol, machine gun, it's all the same. What's the big deal?