Saturday, June 2, 2007

Basic requirements for Manhood

List 1 consist of things that the well rounded man either knows how to do or is actively attempting to learn how to do.

1. Throw a proper punch..................
2. Throw a ball....................
3. Operate a tractor......................
4. Ride a horse......................
5. Ride a motorcycle....................
6. Shoot a full size handgun, shotgun, and rifle................
7. Properly clean the above mentioned firearms.............
8. Hide his initial reaction to almost anything.................
9. Successfully haggle over price without becoming angry or insulting...............
10. Get into a locked car without a key and without breaking anything...................
11. Demand an explanation/apology from a stranger without becoming angry or insulting.........
12. Keep his mouth shut...................

List 2 consist of things that the well rounded man knows.

1. Bullies must be faced and shut down immediately by whatever means necessary.........
2. An insult unpunished is the parent of another. (Ben Franklin, I think)..................
3. Women don't get it and never will...................
4.The time of sunset this evening (within 10 min.) and the time of sunrise in the morning (within 10 min.)...................
5. The dates of the first and last killing frost in his area............
6. The average annual rain fall in his area..............
7. What the two most poisonous snakes in his area look like...........
8. What the two most poisonous plants in his area look like....................
9. The difference between wild mushrooms that will kill you and those that won't............
10. When someone is full of shit..............
11. The difference between an uncomfortable situation and a dangerous one..............
12. That emotional outburst do nothing to lessen pain.............

List 3 consist of personal items that the well rounded man owns or is actively seeking.

1. A high quality, large caliber, single action, autoloading pistol.............
2. A functional, accurate, .22LR caliber rifle................
3. A high quality, razor sharp, legal to carry, folding knife...............
4. A high quality, compact binocular (German if possible)...................
5. At least one high quality flashlight that works every time (Surefire if possible)..........
6. A reliable watch....................
7. A Leatherman tool or any quality copy.........................
8. A good dog................
9. A high quality rod and reel.................
10. At least one biography of any of the great men...........
11. At least one book about any war..............
12. A leather wallet with pictures of his children..............

Feel free to ignore/attack/add to/subtract from my list at your liesure. The monkey-like tinkerings of the masses won't change the universal truths I have revealed here today.


You're Welcome, Again,

THE ARCHDUKE

2 comments:

King Selfish said...

Wow, I feel pretty good with my score. Based on these lists I'm almost 80% man. I like the way you have spelled out the specific requirements of manhood. Now that I know exactly where my problem areas are I can work to correct them. Gotta go, Bridges of Madison County is coming on.

The Archduke of Arrogance said...

By your own admission you have already seen that movie and that is an automatic deduct of 9.375%.