Friday, October 19, 2007

Dog Drama

First of all, I admit that I kind of like Ellen Degeneres. She's cute, funny, and seems like a nice person. Unfortunately, like so many people, she is completely insane when it comes to animals. So I have decided to share a couple of tidbits of wisdom with her via this exalted forum. (I have it on good authority that she is a regular lurker on this blog).

TIP ONE: Do not make a purchase unless full right and title to the item transfers to YOU. In other words don't trade money for a dog that comes equipped with full responsibility but no authority. (I know, I know, she didn't BUY the dog, she ADOPTED the dog. Yeah, whatever).

TIP TWO: Avoid people who think that dogs and children don't go together. It's a wonder anyone stupid enough to believe that has managed to survive to adulthood. We've all heard people say that various things go together "like ham and eggs". Well ham and eggs go together like kids and dogs.

Now, for talking heads on the TV whose main concern seemed to be the veracity of Ms. Degeneres' anguish. Yes. Genuine tears, genuine snot, genuine misplaced emotion.
And for the few I heard say, "What's REALLY important here is what's best for the dog", I say bullshit. None of this is even close to important, but there nearest thing to important would be whatever is best for the two little girls. The yapping, crapping, 2lbs ball of hair in question doesn't give a rats ass about anything except food and attention. By the way, judging from the picture, Iggy isn't a real dog, Iggy is what real dogs eat.

Finally, to the cops who took part in the "rescue". What were you thinking? You should have tazed that stupid sow into a coma for even suggesting such a waste of taxpayer dollars.

1 comment:

King Selfish said...

Funny and nice I get. But cute? I ask only because I agree with everything else you wrote.

Why anyone would rent a dog is beyond me.

The folks at Mutts and Mom sound like real decent people.

Silliness all around.