Wednesday, November 22, 2006

The King is I

Tread lightly, gentle reader. You have entered the realm of King Selfish. Care must be taken or you will find yourself edified by the thoughtful and penetrating commentary found herein. But think me not without good intentions. As the most kindhearted of despots I deign to treat every issue under the sun, except poetry, in such a way as to benefit all mankind.

Inasmuch as I dwell in the lofty halls of distinguished thinkers, one may expect that I will not tackle the mundane and less challenging aspects of the human struggle. Not so. I consider it all joy that my dutiful underlings, The Vicar of Vanity, and the Archduke of Arrogance, will join me in my quest to have the final say on all that matters in this life. While not blessed with Kingly insight, these loyal subordinates have a firm grasp on the lesser questions of the day, and will at times offer their views in an entertaining fashion. Be warned, however, that like spoiled children to a loving father, my subjects will occasionally lash out at me with words that attempt to hurt, vilify, or otherwise undermine my authority. Indulge them, for the lion is not bestirred by the mouse.

King Selfish the Good


Skeptic Tank said...

I would never deign to hurt the king. He whose very existence lets the rest of the world know how insignificant it really is. I am just thankful I can stand in the giant shadow you cast. In fact it is the greatest of all shadows, kingly in it's length and width. And I am truly speaking in a very NON metaphorical sense.
The Vic

Anonymous said...

Keep in mind that in this case "the lion" (king smellsfish) is often so drunk that he couldn't be bestirred by a howitzer.

THE A.D.of A.