Thursday, April 26, 2007

Offset upset

Anyone see Dennis Miller on Bill O'reilly last night? He echoed my point about the left creating then solving problems for us. He likened it to Munchhausen's syndrome by proxy. He was right of course but I think he might've read my post, but I understand, I am a wealth of material for pundits and I can't wait till my royalty checks come rolling in. Is anybody as shocked as I am that it turns out that "carbon offsets" are complete and utter bullshit? I am glad it was pointed out to me because planting 20 or 30 trees a day was starting to wear on me. Oh speaking of trees, a report last week came out that said that trees actually RAISE the temperature of a biome. Hmmmm, ok I am cutting all those previously planted trees down. I have decided to come up with my own offset. I call it beer offsets. For every beer I drink I have to run/walk a lap that week but I heard that working out raises the environmental temperature by .000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 degree Fahrenheit so I may not do it well I may if I get a heat offset. I may make an ice cube for every lap I run. Well that runs electricity for my freezer so I need to come up with a way to have an electricity offset Damn my head hurts I need a headache offset. I will quit now.
Rambling yours
The Vic


King Selfish said...

This ain't good. If carbon offsets are a fraud, how is Rosie O'Donnell going to compensate for the staggering climatic devastation caused by her flatulence?

Anonymous said...

Hahahaha I love you Flip... and just so you know... Most of the arguements I use in "debating" classes such as English and Poli Sci I get from you, and quite commonly I get them from this site : P
-Your amazing and beautiful daughter :D

The Archduke of Arrogance said...

We can drop this subject now. I just read that the Europeans are going to stop feeding their cows anything that might give them gas. That should pretty well clear this whole global warming thing up.