Monday, April 2, 2007

Rest Easy, America

You will all be thrilled to know that I am now, at all times, legally heeled. This fact is, as I type, going through America's underworld like shit through a goose. Hundreds if not thousands of criminal types are no doubt looking for new careers due to this frightening (for them) fact. Sleep well fellow law-abiding citizens, you're welcome.

Today's word is: DYSPHEMIA- any impairment in the ability to speak.

I have found a direct correlation between the amount of beer consumed and the degree of dysphemia suffered.

If the Mohammed won't come to the mountain, then shoot him and drag him up there.

Vigilantly Yours,

The Archduke of Arrogance, crimefighter extrordinaire


King Selfish said...

Just when I thought you had achieved maximum arrogance, you start packing heat. I don't have a title for this story yet, but the genre is obvious--tragicomedy.

The Archduke of Arrogance said...

Make your little jokes, Festus, but you and I both know that even though you've been licensed for some time now, you will rest a little better at night knowing that there is a real life Matt Dillon close enough to come riding in and save your ass at the last minute.

P.S. That was a serious run-on sentence.