From the desk of King Selfish

As far as I'm concerned, the fact that John McCain is a weird little creep is enough to disqualify him from the Presidency. If you need a slightly more mature reason, check out this piece by a guy who voted for him in the 2000 Republican primary.

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Christopher Hitchens couldn't despise Jimmy Carter any more than I do, he just expresses himself a little better.

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Let are kids walk? Perfect.

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"If you spend word for word with me, I shall make your wit bankrupt". Shakespeare

Memory Lame

Vicar, the photo you posted brings back fond memories, although, to be honest I didn't recognize you at all. Bad lighting, no doubt. Most likely those who knew you then will best remember you as you appear at left. I think this photo was taken during a lunch break sometime in our freshman year of high school. All these years later I can still remember being amazed at how you would wait, ever so patiently, for someone to stop and feed you.

The good old days.

Well now that we got to see the younger and gayer version of the archduke, I thought everyone might be interested in seeing a pic I dug up of myself and the king. I forgot how much I resembled Harrison Ford when I was in Junior High and Mr. Selfish himself reminds me of someone but I just can't put my finger on it. It is amazing how little our looks have changed in 30 years. Memories sweet memories.......

The Vic

Semi-Anniversary

The Skeptics' Tank is now six months old. And they said it wouldn't last, pshaw! "They" should thank their lucky stars the magic trio is committed to blogging excellence, because the insights posited here over the last half year are sufficient to solve virtually every woe of mankind. So if this is your first time, slow down, look around, and come hate with us. You're welcome, World.

"I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly." Steven Wright

Shamnesty

I know that no one is shocked but I do not think we should grant amnesty to any illegal like we did before. I think we should round up all illegals and send em all home. To hell with em. Now that I have said that. People who hire illegals should be arrested too and all the people in charge of the government the last lets say 20 years? should be arrested too. If there was not a market, there would not be a problem. If there was nowhere to work they wouldn't come. We have created the market so the people come BUT they wouldn't come if our coward government would have or would stop them. They just whistle and look the other way and like I have said before this is old George's BIGGEST mistake. I mean even in mine and the King's old hometown the people voted to NOT allow illegals from renting and that town has a HUGE hispanic population so it seems obvious to me that not only the average euro american wants an end to the influx of illegals but so do the mexi americans and I am guessing the average afro american doesn't like it at all. We need a national referendum and I guarantee you the nation would vote to ship em back and shut the border down.

On another note check this out and watch May 22nd's Dateline http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12680788/

The king and I were in Ada at this time and we were in and around the action and some of the players. It was weird to see Karl Fontenot talk after not seeing him for 25 years.

That is all,

the Vic

slinking back

I was hoping to come roaring back, after my short hiatus, with a great post. Unfortunately that is not going to happen. Here of late I have been overwhelmed and underpowered when it comes to commenting on the things that piss me off. After five minutes of news I feel like a punch drunk, worn out boxer who can't recover from one blow before recieving the next one. Rest assured that this is a temporary situation. Like the Pheonix I will rise up, and once again, (probably after my nap) skewer my enemies with my rapier wit.

If your man-dress always smells like camel sweat and improperly wiped ass, then you might be a muslim.

If your skanky looking beard has globs of congealed mutton grease in it, then you might be a muslim.

If you singed off your eyebrows while setting your daughter on fire for kissing a boy, then you might be a muslim.

There now, I feel better already.

The Archduke

Bridge of Dearth

Where have all the posters gone? I know, who am I to say anything, but the comfort I found daily or so in reading the deep thoughts has been yanked away and I know not why? Come back.
me

With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy

I would like to play a new game:

"You might be a muslim....."

If you claim to be the religion of peace but blow anyone you disagree with up, then you might be a muslim.

If you teach young children to hate any other religion but your own, then you might be a muslim.

If you teach those same kiddos how to wield weapons and wear bombs on the name of allah, then you might be a muslim.

If you are willing to blow up a car with children in it in the name of allah, then you might be a muslim.

If you suppress all dissent of your religion with the threat of death or with real death, then you might be a muslim.

If you cover your women up from head to toe, enslave them, and treat them like dogs, then you might be a muslim.

If you wipe your ass with your left hand only and eat with your right hand only, then you might be a muslim.

If you are willing to commandeer a Jet plane and fly it into buildings to kill thousands of people in the name of the religion of peace, then you might be a muslim.

If you cheer for the commandeering of airplanes and the bombing of innocents ,then you might be a muslim.

If you are wiping your ass with stones and rocks with your left hand, then you might be a muslim.

If you blame zionist for all the world's troubles, then you might be a Muslim.

If you threaten to murder people for drawing pictures of the leader of your religion of peace, then you might be a muslim.

If you are a moderate and don't personally like the murder of innocents but refuse to decry the horrible actions of your fellow religion of peacers, then you might be a muslim.

Ok I am out of steam and I am not so creative in the first place so come on my brokeback wannabe friends, lets see what you can come up with!

That is all,
the Vic

King Selfish says...

For future reference, Mr. President, we do not wink at the Queen. Perhaps you didn't get the memo.

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If you choose to read the Bible, use the New King James Version. It beats the other translations all to hell. And since Ecclesiastes is the best book of all Holy Writ, I suggest you start there. Curiously, the Vicar is mentioned in the opening verse. Anyway, if you don't blow your brains out after having the futility of your pathetic little life shoved in your face, you may proceed to the kinder, gentler portions of the Word.

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"Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something." Pancho Villa's last words.

Let Us Prey

Click to Enlarge

What do you get when you mix radically left journalist, Alexander Cockburn (pronounced Coburn), with The Nation, arguably the most liberal magazine in America? Tick-tock, tick-tock...time's up. If your answer was, "An excellent article exposing the current global warming mania for the misguided neo-religion it is, with just the right amount of Catholic Church bashing thrown in", then you get a star on your cute little forehead.

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"It makes me mad when people say I turned and ran like a scared rabbit. Maybe it was like a mad rabbit, who was going to fight in another fight, away from the first fight." Jack Handey

Whew!

Boy, was I relieved to wake up this morning and find that the U.S of A. was still ginning right along. This is the second year in a row that the smelly,brown invaders have tried to bring us to our knees by not showing up for work. The only difference I noticed yesterday was the absence of two-legged cattle in reflective vests standing around in the road construction zones. Oh, and the girl who gave me my coffee at Mcdonalds spoke fluent English.

I noticed that Rage Against the Machine got back together and proclaimed that Bush should be "Tried, hung and shot." Is it just me or shouldn't the word convicted be in there somewhere? To me this shows the difference between the right and the left. We on the right will try you, CONVICT you(with facts and evidence), then hang you and shoot you. The left, on the other hand, omits the conviction part because they are too occupied with their feelings to bother with things like facts and evidence. I know I'm right about this because I feeeeel it so deeply.

Today's word is: OBSTREPEROUS- noisy and hard to manage.
When half a dozen or so mud people get together they usually become obstreperous.


Relievedly Yours,

The Archduke

Required Reading

Until you have read this little piece by Christopher Hitchens, you are an ignorant wretch.

If you happen to notice that I've added to this post, you should read this also.

Offset upset

Anyone see Dennis Miller on Bill O'reilly last night? He echoed my point about the left creating then solving problems for us. He likened it to Munchhausen's syndrome by proxy. He was right of course but I think he might've read my post, but I understand, I am a wealth of material for pundits and I can't wait till my royalty checks come rolling in. Is anybody as shocked as I am that it turns out that "carbon offsets" are complete and utter bullshit? I am glad it was pointed out to me because planting 20 or 30 trees a day was starting to wear on me. Oh speaking of trees, a report last week came out that said that trees actually RAISE the temperature of a biome. Hmmmm, ok I am cutting all those previously planted trees down. I have decided to come up with my own offset. I call it beer offsets. For every beer I drink I have to run/walk a lap that week but I heard that working out raises the environmental temperature by .000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 degree Fahrenheit so I may not do it well I may if I get a heat offset. I may make an ice cube for every lap I run. Well that runs electricity for my freezer so I need to come up with a way to have an electricity offset Damn my head hurts I need a headache offset. I will quit now.
Rambling yours
The Vic

Now I'm Hysterical

Vicar, you bastard, you stole my bit! I was gonna do a post per week on some form of leftist hysteria, but you knocked most of them out in one fell swoop. Now I have to come up with a new idea. No problem, my genius will prevail.

A few others I was considering:

1. Population Explosion

2. Disease caused by Alar, breast implants, secondhand smoke, electromagnetic energy from power lines, etc, etc.

3. Heterosexual Aids-we forget how big a deal this was back in the day. Some crazies were predicting that tens of millions of heterosexual Americans would be dead of the Aid by now. I think the real number is somewhere around two.

Question -

What are the equivalent scaremongering positions of the Right?

Some would answer the fear generated by the threat of a Soviet nuclear attack during the cold war is an example of Right hysteria. Maybe. I don't know if the concept of impending apocalypse was entirely created by the Right or not, but at least the Soviet Union actually possessed real nuclear weapons and had the ability to deploy them (see Cuban Missile Crisis).

Others say the many incarnations of the "Red Scare" show just how knee-jerk crazy those on the Right can be. I guess I can see it. But again, the record not only shows a history of active communists and communist sympathizers in America, it has been proven that in the past the highest levels of government were virtually infested with them.

Anyway, I want somebody to point out to me where the Right has contributed to mass hysteria/ignorance on par with the Left because I can't see it.

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"Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as though nothing ever happened." Sir Winston Churchill

Hysteria

Speaking of lefty hysteria, the whole DDT ban is the example of the left's Modus Operandi. They are masters of creating problems then rushing to solve them. In my lifetime I have seen this play out numerous times. The false fear factor or the Chicken little syndrome examples that I can think of off the top of my giant, bulbous head are : 1. DDT 2. Cyclamates 3. Saccharine 4. Ozone layer hole 5. Dioxin 6. Global Cooling 7. Amazon rain forest deforestation 8. Acid rain 9. The homeless 10. Global warming (DUH). Wow I just realized that my list greatly resembles a list of urban legends. These are political urban legends and I am sure I have missed many many more. I am hoping my manly (but slightly effeminate and closeted) colleagues will add to the list so as to remind me how truly manipulative the left really is. I don't think it is too far of a stretch to see the left as a super hero like Mighty Mouse but who firsts has to create a problem then they can heroically burst into their famous saying "HERE THE LEFT COMES TO SAVE THE DAY! BECAUSE WE REALLY REALLY CARE ABOUT YOU UNLIKE THOSE HEARTLESS WHITE MALE CONSERVATIVES! WE WILL SAVE YOU LONG TIME BY RAISING TAXES AND MAKING A UTOPIAN SOCIALIST SOCIETY WHERE EVERYONE IS EQUAL" well except for us loving and caring leaders who are mega rich and who don't have to suffer through the "equality" like the rest of you poor dumb bastards er uh I mean you poor mistreated peoples since we are special and we get to live like kings while you poor dumb bastards er uh I mean ignorant masses oops of course I mean you poor SUPPRESSED peoples live like er uh poor suppressed peoples because WE KNOW WHATS BEST FOR YOU! I actually can't wait to see the next BIG SCARE. What will it be? I don't know but at least we have mighty mouse to save us.
The Vic

The Left makes Right

April 18
Betty Trachtenberg, Yale Dean of Student Affairs to school's theater departmemt:

"Given the events of a few days ago in Virginia I question, at this time, the use of even a prop hand gun in this (or other productions). I suggest that you find another way."

April 24
Associated Press NEW HAVEN — A week after a Yale University official banned prop weapons from school plays in response to the Virginia Tech killings, the Ivy League school has reversed course and said audiences will be notified in advance of the use of fake guns, swords and knives.

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Well, whadda ya know, leftist hysteria corrected. Partially, anyway. If an audience is attending a production of the Guns of Navarone I can't quite see the need to announce that fake guns, swords, and knives may be used. But hey, I ain't got no Ivy League education.

Some leftist hysteria has greater consequences and takes longer to correct.

About 8 months ago the World Health Organization reversed its 35 year old ban on DDT. During the span of the ban (I like the way that sounds) more than 30 million people, mostly dark skinned children, died of easily preventable malaria. But they were loved.

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"You may delay, but time will not." Benjamin Franklin

I know ,I know

I haven't posted, I haven't commented I have been a bad blogger. Being weird like I am, I have a hard time writing without some kind of inspiration. I have gained new respect for column writers and my esteemed colleagues for being willing enough and focused enough to post their thoughts on a continuing basis. I don't want to be redundant I don't want to be redundant so I try not to post the same stuff over and over which I am more than capable of doing. I know I am passing up some good stuff like "nutty Korean massacres innocent students" and the obvious political battles that follow afterwards over gun control and such. Or "the push to legislate against global warming" which is an obvious scam by liberals. But the words just don't always come easily. So once again I apologize and will try to succumb to peer pressure and get back on my high horse and opine on todays relevant issues.
The Vic

The Real Problem

At some point our politically correct society is going to have to face the facts when it comes to school shootings. For years now the pundits, politicians and PTA's, have flitted around alighting on, and crying about, one peripheral issue after another. It's time to man up and face the real issue head on. The problem isn't the implement used (gun), or possible triggers (bullying, envy, unrequited love, ad infinitum). The problem is THE MALIGNANT GEEK or TOXIC DWEEB if you prefer. These brooding, sullen losers spend their short, often priveliged lives, basting in their own mental sewage. The fact that some of their peers are more athletic, better looking, wealthier, smarter, funnier, nicer, etc. doesn't motivate the MG or TD to improve themselves by expanding on their strengths and overcoming their weaknesses, it moves these narcissistic whiners to vile fantasies of murder and revenge. Unfortunately a few of them muster the determination to turn fantasy into reality.

The powers that be need to stop blaming inanimate objects and/or victims when the real culprit is laying(often with a terminal case of self inflicted raggedy head) right under their noses. It's time to hunt these people down, before they act and force them to make something. Make a date, make a team, make a friend, or failing that make a noose and use it on themselves before they hurt somebody.


This week's word is: Hoplophobia- The irrational fear of inanimate objects.


Astutely yours,

The Archduke

Drawn offsides again

Another guy on another Ticket show said something I thought was stupid, so I had to write him an email. I present it here for your enjoyment. Warning, some redundancy follows.

Hey Gordo,

On this morning's show you made this uninformed comment--"The only people who don't want gun control are the NRA and criminals."

Way to go. Not only is this statement incorrect on both counts, you managed to lump a legal organization and it's overwhelmingly law-abiding members in with common criminals.

I'm not interested in a debate on gun control, and I'm certainly no spokesman for the NRA, but if you choose to do a little fact checking I think you'll find it supports many, if not most, of the gun laws that are currently on the books.

Your apparent animus towards the NRA can be chalked up to an honest intellectual dishonesty, but saying criminals don't want gun control, in my opinion, shows an ignorance that borders on grotesque. Criminals, by definition, tend not to burden themselves with things like obeying the law, and are not inclined to allow even the most restrictive gun control laws to get in their way. And their work is made easier when their victims are not able to protect themselves. I'll give you one example (there are many more) then set you free.

A federal appeals court recently overturned a 1976 law that banned residents of Washington D.C. from owning, buying, transporting, or possessing a handgun. That's thirty years in which to possess a handgun in D.C., even in one's home, was to break the law. And yet, shockingly, violent criminals thrived to such an extent during this period the District of Columbia was tagged with the nickname "Murder Capital" of the United States.

Your statement couldn't be more wrong. The NRA wants gun control that will keep guns out of the hands of criminals, but will allow lawful adults a serious means of self-protection. Criminals, who don't trouble themselves with obtaining their guns legally, want gun control for the opposite reasons.

Now you can get back to your life.

The Good Old Days

“Civilization’s going to pieces,” broke out Tom violently. “I’ve gotten to be a terrible pessimist about things. Have you read ‘The Rise of the Colored Empires’ by this man Goddard?”
“Why, no,” I answered, rather surprised by his tone.
“Well, it’s a fine book, and everybody ought to read it. The idea is if we don’t look out the white race will be—will be utterly submerged. It’s all scientific stuff; it’s been proved.”
“Tom’s getting very profound,” said Daisy, with an expression of unthoughtful sadness. “He reads deep books with long words in them. What was that word we——”
“Well, these books are all scientific,” insisted Tom, glancing at her impatiently. “This fellow has worked out the whole thing. It’s up to us, who are the dominant race, to watch out or these other races will have control of things.”
“We’ve got to beat them down,” whispered Daisy, winking ferociously toward the fervent sun.
“You ought to live in California—” began Miss Baker, but Tom interrupted her by shifting heavily in his chair.
“This idea is that we’re Nordics. I am, and you are, and you are, and——” After an infinitesimal hesitation he included Daisy with a slight nod, and she winked at me again. “—And we’ve produced all the things that go to make civilization—oh, science and art, and all that. Do you see?”

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A couple of days ago I decided to take a break from my second job as a tax preparer to engage in a little light reading. I settled on The Great Gatsby (1925) because it's short and easy. The excerpt above amused me so I graciously chose to share it with my minions.

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The crows seemed to be calling his name, thought Caw.
Jack Handey

So Skeletor

said something that noone really heard except someone with an agenda and I have something to say, wHO CARES? Oh I could feign anger like the women, blacks, black women, corporations , pundits etc etc etc ad nauseum or I could turn the radio off like 99.9% of the world who doesn't listen to the return of the living dead meister does. And OH the HOpocracy! The Hymie hater himself is outraged and why in the world do we have to see Sharpton and Jackson on TV, they are a big part of the reason that whitey has resentment for napheads. So let me get this straight, I as a much maligned and ill treated people can have most my children out of wedlock, commit most of the crime in the country, and much of the culture flaunts how DIFFERENT they are than Cracker culture but don't you dare say anything about it or we will get outraged all over again and then we have to listen to Shamos and Jandy tell us HOw unfair it is to be their rich ass selves. I would bet this country in all of its racist glory has more Millionaire African descendants than the rest of the world combined including the Mother land herself. But OH no don't say anything to offend our much oppressed brother or we are evil EVIL! Let em do what they want just look the other way and don't harbor any bad feelings at all. If this were the Emperor's new Clothes, the poor kid who had the audacity to point out the nudity wouldv'e been hung by his toes. fOr sHame! And I get a huge kick out of NOW trying to protect the poor maligned Basketball girls for the SEXIST comment, never mind rap music, or better yet let's not ever speak of MUSLIM culture where they treat women like queens and Goddesses. Hopocracy is rampant and it is awesome cause being a HOpocrite means never havign to say your sorry. Any of my esteemed colleagues wanna place bets on how much of the DOOKIE faculty apologizes to the INNOCENT non rapists? They won't, they can't their religion forbids it.

But hey just a thought
The Vic

More Random Poo

Ol' Newt really let me down. In case you haven't heard he jumped on the man made global warming bullshit wagon AND pimped John Kerry's book on national television. Evidently he is just a vote whore like the rest of them. I guess this means that I will support Fred Thompson, at least until he does something to piss me off.

Bill O'reilly recently spanked Geraldo on the subject of "criminal immigrants". O'reilly wants illegal aliens who commit crimes to be deported immediatly. I agree, but what Bill is forgetting is that as soon as a mexican splashes up on the north side od the Rio Grande he is instantly guilty of committing a crime. That one act should be plenty to get him deported. There is no need to wait for him to get a DUI or kill somebody. I think we should employ the D.U.D method- Deportation(death?) Upon Discovery, no tolerance.

This week's word is: Tautology- needless repetion of an idea using different words, i.e.- widow woman, crooked politician, irrational leftist, etc.

Here's a little bit of open border trivia. According to a Minuteman website, the 12 million strong 3rd world army of occupation that is currently bivouaced in my country is responsible for the deaths of 25 real Americans every day. Every year these people kill more Americans than the attacks of 9-11. Depressing ain't it?

Dejectedly Yours,

The Archduke

P.S I was blissfully unaware of this creature called Imus until a couple of days ago. I'm still not sure what it is but I'm guessing it's some sort of ancient, hermaphroditic monster from the really deep part of the ocean. Would somebody in the know please tell me if I'm even close.

Back to Normal

There are few things in life that can be counted on. And then there's New Orleans. For a while there it seemed that the wanton killing that had become the norm in the swampy burg had run its course, and that maybe we would have to wait at least another year for a chance at a new murder record. I mean, it's a small city, so it stands to reason that eventually the killing would have to slow down. And I'll admit I have been a little worried, because as a spectator I enjoy it when old, "unbreakable" records are broken. As long as it is done within the rules, of course.

Now in case you have forgotten, New Orleans holds the current murder rate record for the United States. It was set in 1994 and stands at 86 per 100,000 people. This number represents an extremely high rate of killing, so I know it's not smart to hope that it will be exceeded. But thanks to a recent three day orgy of death, there is still a fighting chance.

Saturday, March 31, four murders. Monday, April 2, four murders. That brings the total number of murders committed in the city this year to 55. Murder rate -- 96 and holding.

That, my friends, is what you call a comeback. Just when the murder rate had slipped to around 90 and seemed in danger of falling even farther, my homeboys awakened, remembered who they were, and got back to the business of killing.

Sitting here now I don't know why I was ever worried. When it comes to murder, New Orleans is the Tiger Woods of American cities, and even Tiger suffers through the occasional slump. And just like Tiger, New Orleans has met the challenge and is now, once again, reasserting its dominance.

It's nice to see things are back to normal in the Chocolate City.

Rest Easy, America

You will all be thrilled to know that I am now, at all times, legally heeled. This fact is, as I type, going through America's underworld like shit through a goose. Hundreds if not thousands of criminal types are no doubt looking for new careers due to this frightening (for them) fact. Sleep well fellow law-abiding citizens, you're welcome.

Today's word is: DYSPHEMIA- any impairment in the ability to speak.

I have found a direct correlation between the amount of beer consumed and the degree of dysphemia suffered.

If the Mohammed won't come to the mountain, then shoot him and drag him up there.

Vigilantly Yours,

The Archduke of Arrogance, crimefighter extrordinaire

T.V. Dinners

OK I am gonna take a small side trip away from my usual rants about race, politics, and IMMIGRATION to extol the virtues of the greatest Microwaveable T.V. Dinners I have ever had the pleasure to heat up and consume. And we of course being the 3 pigs well formally the 3 pigs, it didn't pass my casual observation that one of the three is looking a bit ballerinaesque in his stature. Which is impressive and a good ploy to make certain other body parts appear larger than they really are. Oh but before I get back to the greatest dinners of all time a good name for the blog who's name we will never change might need to be called "The three wise pigs" just a thought, but back to my piginess. I have discovered that Banquet TV dinners are the best all time. They are inexpensive, easy to make, and comparatively delicious. It is almost like they are luring me in with the good stuff so I will buy it then they will pull the old bait and switch and either raise the price or replace the food with cheaper imitations, but until that day this shit is good! I give it 4 belly rolls up! Oh and let me mention that the democrats are lying cowards, not only do they want to surrender they are claiming that that is what the American people want. Since when did they care what the American people want? Don't believe me? OK then lets have a national referendum to decide if we should legalize gay marriage, or one over abortion or one over immigration, let us truly find out what the American people want and make laws accordingly. I REST MY CASE.
The Vic

Random Crap

This week's word is: PERSPICACIOUS- Having keen mental perception.

Naturally, this word is often used to describe me. In our personal correspondence William F. Buckley Jr. sometimes refers to me as the Prince of Perspicaciousness.

Take up the white man's burden
The savage wars of peace.
Fill full the mouth of Famine
And bid the sickness cease.
When your goal is nearest
An end for others sought,
Watch sloth and heathen folly
Bring it all to nought.

That is one verse of "The White Man's Burden" by Rudyard Kipling, a very good poem that I highly recommend. It's about the futility of trying to civilize the mud people.

Last night's summit meeting went well and I, once again, led King Selfish and The Vicar of Vanity to victory over the forces of sobriety.

Humbly yet Omnipotently Yours.
The Archduke

Did anyone notice

that our beloved pres was touring some countries south of the border last week? Did anyone else notice that while traveling in future illegal immigrant land oh Georgie porgie was fellating their president and simultaneously sodomizing his own people? In spite of all the hate spewed by the lefty loonies about the war our biggest let down by Mr. Bush will be his legacy of keeping open the floodgates into our country for ILLEGALS and illegal terrorists. This is simply one of the biggest blunders EVER of any president EVER! The war was/ is necessary in my opinion but the unwilling menage' a trois the American people have been forced into is a perverted sickening shame. Speaking of war, America should never fight another war again. We are like that boxer who is the strongest, fastest , and most skilled of all the boxers in the world but when he is taken to the later rounds he starts doubting his ability to win so he eventually runs away screaming in defeat unable to ever fight again, it is that left brain boxer we have become. SO no more wars for you U.S.A! Well till we can get one of those operations that removes that left portion of our brain at least the far left portion anyways. Well all for me so till then ADIOS AMIGOS!
The Vic

back to Iraq and word of the week

We just put my son in law (along with 230 other soldiers) on a plane to Iraq this morning. It was a lot more fun watching his plane come in than it was watching it fly away, but he's just got 6 months to go then he will be home for good. The first picture is of him holding his SAW (squad automatic weapon), the second is the business end of a .50 caliber machine gun mounted on his HUMVEE, and the third is of the HUMVEE he was driving when it set off an IED. Ordinarily he mans the .50, but for some reason he traded with the driver that day. He said the guy on the .50 got a minor wound and a purple heart and all he got was a mild concussion and some soiled drawers. I informed him that we have enough cool pictures and that there is no need for any further excitement. Hopefully the next six months of his tour will be a little less exhilarating.

Since it is Sunday it must be time for a new word. This week's word is: RECREANT- cowardly, disloyal.

Hollywood's anti-American celebutards are often on camera exhibiting RECREANT behavior.

Try to keep a good thought for the young man pictured above and all of his brothers-in-arms.


Uncharacteristically soberly yours.

THE ARCHDUKE

new word

It's time once again, children, for the word of the week.

This week's word is: SOCKDOLAGER- A heavy, finishing blow.

A sockdolager is something that the Vicar might recieve from giant Leonard Davis if one of their brief men's room encounters goes awry.

Just in case you were wondering, it takes one gallon of gasoline to produce six gallons of gasoline but it only takes four and a half gallons of ethanol to produce six gallons of ethanol. Perhaps next week I'll explain the word inefficient to the econazis.

The Archduke

New Cowboy

The Dallas Cowboys recently signed a most large African-American offensive lineman by the name of Leonard Davis. If memory serves, the Vicar once had a brief encounter with this fine young man in a men's room. Really. But I digress. There was a biographical sidebar in the paper's story about his signing, and in it I noticed something that struck me as quite out of the ordinary. Here's his bio, see if can you find the tidbit. Hint, it has nothing to do with his size.

Ht: 6-6
Wt-366
Age:28
College: UT
Hometown: Wortham , Tx
Notable: Earned the nickname Big after growing to 6-0, 205 pounds as a fifth grader. He was 300 pounds as a seventh grader...Started his college career as a defensive tackle: then played left offensive tackle his junior and senior seasons...Played every position on the offensive line with the exception of center for the Arizona Cardinals...Married with two daughters...Is the youngest of 21 half brothers and sisters...His mother, Sammie Lee, has sisters who live in Dallas.

Well, did you catch it? I thought so. Shocking isn't it? A young black man who is actually married to his baby mama. Go figure.

This is Murder

Unfortunately, the murder rate in New Orleans has come way down from earlier this year. But the good news is there is still a chance for a new American record. Let's take a look.

First, some perspective. The highest murder rate ever for the country as a whole occurred in the year of our me, 1984, and stands at 10.2 per 100,000 people. In case you're wondering, that's 18,700 murders out of a population of 236 million. The murder rate hovered around 9 until it started dropping in the mid nineties, and since 1999 it has been under 6. Still there?

In 1991, Washington D.C., the "murder capital" of the United States, and a nasty place I'm sure, had a murder rate of 80 (Jesus H Christ, that's high!). Over the last ten years or so it has gradually declined to an acceptable--if you live in war zone--35. (in 2005, 195 murders - pop-550,000) I'm trying to hurry.

Real quick. Dallas, just your run of the mill high crime city, has a murder rate of 17.

Now for the good stuff. In 1994 New Orleans set a U.S. homicide record to be proud of. Out of a population of about 500,000 upstanding folks, 425 murders were committed. That, my friend, translates into a homicide rate of a whopping 86. Highest ever in our country. They stand alone, dead. The murder rate in New Orleans has been so high for so long that Louisiana is the only state in the land that has had a double digit murder rate for at least ten years running. And it's not even close. But wait, I've got more.

As of Monday there have been 34 murders recorded in New Orleans so far this year. If my homies can maintain this pace they will finish with a homicide rate of...you ready for this?...ok...97! (Fireworks) The numbers would look like this--population 200,000 -- murders 194 = new national record. I think it's steroids.

Warbal Gloming

Hate to write about this since anyone without an agenda knows that the whole "man is causing the warming of the earth" is an unsupported bag of silliness, but I am gonna say a couple of words. I think the whole point of this made up tragedy is so that lefty leaders can step in and save us which is all about their belief that people need a large loving government to care for them since they can't possibly take care of themselves. That's it. All these Sky is falling scenarios help our government get bigger as it "helps" us. And this MAY include the war on terror but I will talk about that later.
The legislation that will sadly eventually be passed to "combat" the warming is nothing more than a poor tax. It will burden the poorer people in this country tremendously as do many taxes such as gas tax, tobacco tax, alcohol tax and hell even sales taxes in general. The party that stays in power by perpetuating the myth of class difference hurt the have nots they purportedly support. They are always claiming things like Bush is giving tax cuts to the rich and the rich are getting richer while the poor are getting poorer. These are straight up lies that the rich democratic leaders spread to keep themselves in power. SOCIALISM I think is their ultimate goal, and ultimately I think they will get it.
All governments eventually self destruct ALL of them do. We are watching the process now. It is probably the beginning of that process but its definitely a mass erosion of the idealism that was put into our original constitution.
Sad thing is this is willful deconstruction. The Al Gores of the world know what they are saying are lies but because it helps perpetuate a socialistic agenda then the ends justify the means. Both sides of course try to stir up their followers by scaring them or pandering and let me be the first one to say that if people vote because of ONE issue such as Global Warming or ABORTION then those people shouldn't be voting. Don't vote. IF you can't see a bigger picture stay home, please.
Anyway there is my ramble I hope all readers who find me a bit put offish or even downright stupid will globally warm up to me since I TRULY KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR YOU.
The Vic

nag,nag,nag

Apparently the demand for snippets of my wisdom is greater than even I imagined. Of late, I have been besieged by a seemingly endless torrent of pleas for more posts. Not being one to ignore my many admirers or withhold the life sustaining water of my wisdom from the arid, barren minds of the masses, here I am. In order to help the intellectually challenged better understand my lessons, I have decided to implement a vocabulary enrichment program. What this means to you is that every Sunday I will add a new word, it's definition, and a short example of how it applies in the real world.

Today's word is: SOMNIFACIENT- Causing or inducing sleep

An example of something somnifacient would be any post pulled directly from the little diary (he likes to call it a journal) that King Selfish keeps hidden under the huge pile of stuffed animals in the corner of his bedroom.

Almost Unbelievably Unselfishly Yours,
THE ARCHDUKE

Current Event Fatigue

I'm this close to not giving a damn.

This close.

It is universally agreed among the rulers of this blog that much of what passes for news, in fact, is not. So, I won't mention how much television time is devoted to the irrelevance of missing coeds, teacher student love-fests, and idiotic celebrities--living or dead. On and on it goes. Stories like these are a frustrating waste of time, but at least they require no emotional investment. Out of sight, out of mind, no impact on my life. The thing that is kicking my ass is getting all worked up over real news--the fight against the Muslim, harmful legislation, illegal immigration, etc, etc--that is far beyond my realm of influence.

Porous borders? Why are you telling me? Write your congressman. He cares.

Global warming nuts want to enact legislation that would virtually cripple our economy, cause the price of many goods and services to escalate, and generally make life more difficult for millions? Half the voters in the country believe the bullshit, talk to them.

What's that you say? Republicans and Democrats alike are too weak and indecisive to close the deal in Iraq? So what?

You worry about it, I'm done.

Yeah, I know, some shit matters. But, so far, giving a damn about what is going on in the world has got me exactly....nowhere.

I think I'll just sit here and care less and less about more and more.

Ahh, that's better.